Dictionary.com says:
ro⋅man⋅tic- [roh-man-tik] –adjective
1. imbued with or dominated by idealism, a desire for adventure, chivalry, etc.
2. characterized by a preoccupation with love or by the idealizing of love or one's beloved.
3. displaying or expressing love or strong affection.
4. ardent; passionate; fervent.
I like all of these definitions. It seems they all play a role in the workings of the romantic heart. Ultimately, I think they capture a spirit of passion and strong interest that always returns to its subject adoringly- whether that subject be a person or idea.
I believe the essence of romantic love is best understood if one views it as a sort of dance. This month I have meditated a great deal on the cosmic law of expansion and contraction. From the moment of birth when we "expand" out into the world, being filled with out first breath- then contract in as our lungs empty out again- we experience the universal forces of expansion and contraction. We can see the warming expansion of the sun as its light begins to fill our horizon and comes to its heights in the noon day; then light and temperature begin to contract inward as night approaches- as if each day were a giant macrocosm expression of a breath in and a breath out. As the month goes by, the moon expands and contracts upon itself entirely; and within the cycle of the year, the entire spring and summer may be seen as one great expansion of heat and life, the greenery stretching out and up towards the sky then sinking down and withering into the contraction of decay in the cooling autmn and frigid winter- as if the whole cycle of plant growth and decay were one breath in and breath out. The tides of the ocean, ebbing and flowing to the shore... the examples are limitless within the natural world.
What does this have to do with romance? With being a romantic? The dance we enjoy with our partners so often involves a coming together, then a parting, if only slight. Beyond the obvious physical implications of making love, on a soul level we often share moments of intense closeness, only to find a few days later that we feel rather distant- or even miles apart when in the same room. Different personalities express this differently- and the length of time a couple has been together may cause it to show ever more subtlely. While this "apartness" tends to feel rather unsettling when it is not expected, holding within myself the consciousness of expansion and contraction I now find it to be part of a cosmic love dance which involves uniting- becoming one- then retreating slightly to find our individuality again- without which we would never be whole to begin with. Now I can anticipate it- the moments the distinction between lovers blur away to almost nothingness; the moments we again find our own separate beings emerging from each other. This very anticipation itself is a great part of the romantic heart. No longer the disappointment when my husband leaves for a few days away- I can instead view it as hours I need to grow within my own being in a way that complements him when we are together again. Our meeting will be that much sweeter.
I wonder occasionally at the couples who claim they are no longer "in love". Do we fall in and fall out? Or is love, subject to the laws of expansion and contraction, sometimes felt differently in expansion than in contraction, in a way we do not expect to feel it? If we stay the course, we may be surprised to find ourselves merging back into one another, our view of our relationship to each other that much clearer for having endured the parting of our souls as we "breathe out".
Valentine's Day has come and gone; February was a busy little month but I will post pictures of the special "date" we created- a simple circle of candles to illuminate the room as we danced to soothing music and the children slept upstairs.
While I was surprised with roses and chocolate the week before Valentine's Day, that evening a feast was prepared in my honor- all my favorites- lovingly cooked by my husband. I presented him with a gift of figs in the traditional heart-shaped box- an age old aphrodisiac.
How fitting it is that hearts symbolize romantic love- the heart, which expands and contracts rhythmically as it beats!
