Evening Rhythm- Guiding Our Children to Sleep

I chose the evening as a starting point for creating rhythm and ritual in our family life. Our day often begins with how well we prepared for ourselves the night before- and certainly the best preparation is the strengthened resolve after a good night's rest. Many ideas have converged to create what is working out to be a very smooth transition to sleep for the children. Lately I've been brainstorming with a friend to help solve a child's sleep disturbance issues, and that has helped me to solidify my attitude and thoughts towards this topic.

To begin with, I suppose my philosophy of the nature of sleep is very influential in how I approach it. I believe sleep can be likened to a meditative state. Interestingly, there are stories of people who have forgone sleep and participated in deep states of meditation which provided them with the "rest" and renewal they needed for the next day. I don't have experience with this- but I agree with Veronika Van Duin when she explains:

"Perhaps the simplest way to understand... is to imagine we face a problem with no apparent resolution. Intuitively we know we need time, a space, in which to allow the problem to sink down and be digested. Many people will ask for time to "sleep on" a question before having to answer it. And often, miraculously, the answer arrives the following morning. It may not be always so instantaneous. It may require a few nights before the answer surfaces, and we may wonder where it has come from. Sometimes we can even wake up with words ringing in our ears, telling us what to do. Who advises us? Who takes care of our unconscious knowledge and pushes it up into clear thoughts or new energy when we need it? Can we arrive at the same clear insight by means of meditation?"

While our mind and emotions govern our waking consciousness, I tend to think that our souls governs our sleeping consciousness. While the mind and emotions work with logic, words, and the like, our souls work with symbolism and imagery- the stuff of dreams. It is as if our souls are nocturnal, and they do much of their work as we sleep. We certainly don't "shut off" or cease to have consciousness- sleep research has proven that sleep consciousness is indeed consciousness, albeit a different level. Falling asleep is almost like falling into a trance... and when we wake we forget much of what went on.

I believe that our souls receive their nourishment as we sleep, gathering the fuel to process and sort out the issues of our life and revive us to fulfill our destiny or purpose. What are the consequences of lack of sleep? Are they not the same as personal and moral shortcomings - irritability, confusion, impatience?

How then, do I guide my children into this spiritual state of sleep? The first thing that comes to mind is to gently wipe away the sensory input of the physical world and its more tangible, mind and emotion centered objects. Water is a very spiritual medium- perhaps retaining some of the other-worldly element of being weightless and swimming before we were born. The Bible likens the Holy Spirit to water- in that it is "poured out". Bath time is a symbolic way to wipe away the things of the day, to cleanse and purify. They put on their pj's, and its a good time for me to as well. My mother in law told me she puts hers on quite early, because just seeing her in her night clothes helps her husband wind down and feel relaxed- yes, night has truly come. After baths, I offer the children a snack of bread and butter and some warmed milk with a tinge of honey. Both foods have biblical significance- spiritual foods- Jesus says He is the "bread of life", and the Promised land was said to overflow with "milk and honey".

Next we go upstairs to the children's room. Although we have two bedrooms available, I have put them in the same room to make the nighttime routine easier, as it is less ideal to have to transport a sleeping child to a different area than they fell asleep in (this can be unsettling). if the room is very untidy, it is important to set the stage for rest by eliminating chaos with a quick tidying session. It work wonders even to toss toys in the toybox or closet, put dirty clothes in the hamper, and freshen up the bedding. It's also a great idea to prepare for tomorrow by picking out clothes for the next day. If this is part of the routine, it forces us to have laundry done and put away before each evening, and we never face the drama of trying to get ready to go somewhere in the morning and missing socks or matching clothing!

We have a special candle for evening scented with the essential oils that induce relaxation (such as lavendar)- called "Sweet Dreams"- one of Way out Wax's soy candles. Sometimes I might rub a bit of Badger's Nighty Night Balm on the children's foreheads or chest, if they seem wound up. So I light the candle, and with Elijah in his bed and Kingston in my arms, usually nursing, as I rock in the rocking chair beside Elijah's bed, I tell them a story. Ideally, the story is told from memory as it can be hard to read picture books by candle. Some might choose to have a dim lamp and use story books. If so, it is best to steer away from stimulating books- this is not the time for Where the Wild Things Are! Even the Bible is a bit too strong in its symbolism and impact- perhaps why we are often urged to read it in the morning hours. I know for myself and others I have talked to, Bible reading before bed often leads to unsettling dreams. I think one of the more soothing Psalms- with thanksgiving or comfort as a theme- may be the exception. I remember as a child I often slept over my cousins', where before bed was a time of Bible reading followed by cornflakes. Whether it was the black and white strong biblical imagery or the sugary processed corn flakes, or a combination, I don't know- but all 5 of us children has nightmares quite often! Light fairytales and pictures with watercolors and pastels that are beautiful and soft catch the mood for falling asleep. The soft glow of the candle and the soothing sound of parent's voice, lets the impact of whatever story we tell really take root in their minds. A gentle touch while telling the story may be appreciated... up to the individual child.

If the child is facing an issue in their life- a problematic behaviour or showing outward signs of fear or anxiety, specific stories can be chosen as a therapeutic tool to plant subconscious suggestions or solutions they can use. If this idea sounds interesting, look into the book "Healing Stories for Challenging Behaviour" by Susan Perrow. In general, selected Grimm's tales are appropriate for youngest children; Hans Christian Anderson contains a bit more complexity and is best saved for those over 7. Aesop's fables are not recommended as they are rather preachy and moralize, instead of planting gentle suggestions which spark our own intuition and help us solve our problems from the heart outwards (which tends to have more motivating power for true change than mentally generated solutions).

If we had a troublesome day or any issues stand out, we talk about those and lay them to rest. For instance- "Mommy really lost her temper today when such-and-such happened, and I'm sorry for raising my voice. Will you forgive me? We will start fresh and new tomorrow won't we?" Now we say our prayers. Forgiveness is very important before we fall asleep. Sometimes one of my children voices a concern for being lonely at night in his bed all by himself. We talk about his guardian angel, who "encamps round about him" and protects him. Then he feels better about it.

I sing a song that I have sung to them as a lullaby from birth- one which my own mother sang to me.

Usually they fall asleep easily with this. If trouble arises, I have learned a few techniques to help them. Sometimes rubbing my hand lightly down across their forehead and over the eyelids helps them keep their eyes shut and fall asleep (especially with babies). My best technique is breathing. When I studied the safety reasons for cosleeping, I discovered that one benefit is a huge decrease in the incidence of SIDS. Why? Because babies automatically adjust their breathing to ours, as if we are setting the pattern for them. They are less likely to stop breathing simply because they hear us breathe. So I close my eyes and breathe deeply as if I were sleeping, and often times this is just the gentle coaxing a small child needs to follow suit enter the world of dreams.

Essentially, we prepare them for inward activity by veiling the more outward and physcial activities of life, as we guide them to sleep. "Stimulating books and television before bed are absolutely not appropriate". See this excellent article on sleep disturbances- http://www.waldorflibrary.org/waldorf%20journals%20project/SleepDisturbances.pdf

Once they have drifted off, I sometimes pause to watch them sleeping "like little angels." This reminds me to offer a note of thanks to their angels for all the ministering and guarding they offer in their service to God... and if it was a particularly difficult day with one of the children, I may take an extra moment to settle those issues, staying beside them or crawling into bed with them just long enough to say a few prayers of my own, or perform a meditation, until my well of empathy and goodwill is full again (whether towards the child for their behaviour, or myself for my shortcomings as a parent).

Don't forget to blow out the candle!

Goodnight.

Goodwill Housekeeping

Lately I've felt like a tumbleweed. Why is it that I can create a beautiful "rhythm" for my day and then cast it by the wayside when it comes down to the nitty gritty?

In week two of "One Year to an Organized Life", Regina talks about the importance of establishing routines (I use the word "rhythms"). Being a Waldorf education devotee I am very in tune with this idea. However, taking a good inventory of my life, I have to admit that I have great struggles here. I am spontaneous, passionate, and... random! Last post I talked about "spiritual organization"- directing my intellect and emotions to work together with my will. How can I apply that concept to this area of my life?

These are the thoughts that have come to me.

What happens when I operate for a very long time outside the realm of goodwill? If I harbor many negative attitudes and feelings towards the mundane aspects of life, won't I come to view them as not simply "ordinary", but as "unpleasant"?

Have I accepted the attitude of a society that often functions not in terms of personal responsibility, but by "ought to", "should", "have to", "need to", and "must"? What happens when I identify with this mindset as I complete my tasks? Do I think of my occupation as livelihood, chosen work, my calling? Or is it drudgery, the daily grind, labor? Do I view the things I am responsible for- home and children and belongings- as priviledges and gifts, or duties and obligations? If I identify with the latter, am I not weakening my own free will and poisoning my attitude towards my accomplishments?

Yes... if I view something as undesirable, it becomes undesirable. I create my own reality. So my first step is to change my perspective and learn to see, feel, and believe these to be honorable, enjoyable, and valuable pieces of my day- quoting from my first post, I mean to "truly engage myself in my tasks, embuing them with my goodwill and creativity. Washing dishes is not drudgery, but a form of household alchemy. This is especially necessary for me with small children, who imitate not only my words and actions, but the spirit behind them. They 'drink in' the hardness or softness of my face, the cheerfulness or frustration in my posture, the very attitude I convey. I shape their attitude towards work, even when they are infants observing my 'mundane' chores."

I have christened my intent "goodwill housekeeping". Let me explain...

Growth-wise, the book "Nonviolent Communication" revolutionized my life this year. While the process of integrating it into immediate practice has been very slow- it takes time to develop the habit of thinking things through before speaking (I am more of a "stream of consciousness" person)- it did immediately change the way I evaluate myself and my relationships. It brought me such compassion for myself that guilt and blame have found little room to roost.

NVC addresses the issues of personal freedom/autonomy and goodwill. It proposes the idea that when we do something because we are told, or tell ourselves, we "have to", we sidestep our autonomy and reduce our sense of personal responsibility for our life. We feel more like a victim, a drudge, a person who is trapped by circumstances, and impersonal to our tasks. What about those things we really "must" do? Perhaps there really *are* things we must do (like eat)- but, even then we can dissect those things down to choice (*I choose to eat because I want to relieve my hunger*). It may seem like semantics- and I suppose it is. But my life experiences and personality have led me to a place where examining the realities behind the semantics is truly helpful and enlightening. I am better able to carry a sense of empowerment and individual responsibility into my life when I view it in terms of my choice. So, while circumstances may seem to dictate that I change a dirty diaper, I remind myself "I choose to change that diaper now because I care for Kingston's comfort". I then bring that word- "care"- into my task.

If I cannot honestly make the choice within myself to complete a task or fulfill a request with benevolence, or cheerful aquiesence, I am better off waiting until I can, or declining to do it. When I do something outside of goodwill, I generate resentment towards whoever it is that is generating the demand- even if it is myself! The more I have considered the "laws of the universe"- my name for those spiritual truths that seem to play out timelessly- the more I consider that negativity breeds negativity. So it makes sense that "consent" with resentment is not productive. At first I thought this would mean I'd just end up saying no all the time. But, it actually means I say yes quite often and with a much better attitude. As soon as a request is made of me (by myself or another), I do a personal inventory. I examine my attitude. I don't ask myself "Do I feel goodwill about it?", but rather, "Can I choose to do this with goodwill?"- in essence, "Am I willing to have goodwill"? Often simply checking with myself feels very respectful, as if I am honoring my internal compass instead of comandeering it. I can then acknowledge "Yes, I am able to do this with goodwill". Rather than carrying it out automatically (and my "automatic" tends to be either thoughtlessly or with boredom, annoyment, or the sense that I am overwhelmed with everything I have to do)- I carry it out mindfully and imbue it with the sense of goodwill and cheer that my introspectioon has summoned up within me.

Relationally, in marriage, dh and I understand the value of good will. If one of us cannot do something for the other in goodwill, and the other pushes to have it done anyway, we always end up regretting the resulting negativity and frustration- resentment- shown by our partner, and it overshadows any "victory" of having gotten what we want. Over time resentment builds up and creates very unhealthy patterns in our relationships and within us. Perhaps resentment is a precursor to bitterness? So, if I feel like I have a need that must be met, and I sense dh is not able to meet it with goodwill, I have developed my ability to trust God to meet my needs. I bring my petition and my intuition and... doors are opened! Sometimes my needs are met in a way I never would have imagined, had I been insistent upon fulfulling my original demand in the way *I* saw fit.

Returning to the issue at hand- following through with my routines. How can I bring this sense of individual responsibility (perhaps, one could say "freedom"?) and goodwill to their fulfillment? I believe I can do this by crafting rituals and weaving them into my day, to aid me in perceiving the true worth and importance of my chosen work.

rit⋅u⋅al   /ˈrɪtʃuəl/ –noun

1. A set of actions, often thought to have symbolic value, the performance of which is usually prescribed because of the perceived efficacy of those actions.

Beyond this, I even consider defining my household duties as sacraments. "A sacrament, as defined in Hexam's Concise Dictionary of Religion is "a Rite in which God is uniquely active." Augustine of Hippo defined a Christian sacrament as "a visible sign of an invisible reality."(sacrament is a step closer to god) The Anglican Book of Common Prayer speaks of them as "an outward and visible sign of an inward and invisible Grace." Examples of sacraments would be Baptism and the Mass." (Wikipedia)

One of my favorite books, "The Quotidian Mysteries" likens the sacrament of communion and subsequent public washing of the communion dishes done by certain priests, to a homemaker washing dishes. Amazingly, I *do* see many similarities between the traditional 7 sacraments and my household functions. And of course I believe God is uniquely active in our work in the home. Aren't these physical manifestations of our care for our family "outward and visible signs of His inward and invisible grace?"

The traditional Seven Sacraments of the Catholic Church or "divine mysteries" are listed as the following:

Baptism
Confirmation
The Eucharist, Mass or Lord's Supper
Reconciliation of a Penitent (Confession)
Anointing of the Sick or Extreme Unction
Ordination
Matrimony

Perhaps the Seven Sacraments of the Mother and Wife would be:

Laundry (the correlation to baptism seems quite obvious, as our clothes are submerged and emerge "new")
Hospitality (like confirmation, it identifies one as welcome and confers gifts)
Nourishing or Cooking
Cleaning (a form of reconciling, absolving, or "washing away")
Nursing The Sick
Instructing Children (In essence, we "ordinate" our children to the ways of life)
Marital Intimacy

These also correspond to the "Seven Life Processes" which I have come to understand through the pages of Veronika Van Duin's amazing book "Homemaking and Personal Development". Truly a magical catalyst for personal growth and spiritual practice!

I have ordered a few books to help me create symbolic activities (whether physical or nonphysical) to accompany my "sacraments". "Rituals for Sacred Living", "Joy of Family Rituals", and "Spirit of the Home", are all on their way (used books are so wonderful!). I am also drooling over "Cooking for the Love of the World- Awakening our Spirituality Through Cooking" on christopherushomeschool.org.

So far I have been lighting candles each time I move into a room to do a chore. Fire has always been a part of ceremonial rites, and for good reason- it symbolizes many ideas such as "spark of determination", "warmth (of spirit)", "illumination"...

I am also learning more about essential oils and homeopathic flower essences and the emotions they support and summon up. Ever since I began making my cleaning products with essential oils, my attitude while cleaning has soared. What can compare to beautifying the bathroom while breathing in the invigorating scent of peppermint or grapefruit? Antibacterial and uplifting... purging both room and mind of negativity. (See this link for the recipes- http://www.greenwaycleaning.com/uploads/Recipe_Card_side_1.pdf )

It's amazing how those things which seem so menial really do carry great import in the spiritual realm, while the things which receive so much acclaim in our culture (sexual appeal, wealth, and fame or power) have very little significance in places ethereal.

I'll end this essay in "goodwill housekeeping" with one last definition- a variation of the meaning of goodwill. In commerce, "goodwill" 'refers to an intangible, salable asset arising from the reputation of a business and its relations with its customers, distinct from the value of its stock'. In other words, goodwill speaks of our worth being multiplied beyond our actual abilities, resources, and accomplishments- simply because of the quality of our actions and relations with those around us. So to all, I wish you goodwill.

Organizing as a Manifestation

"Organizer, organizer, baby you're an organizer..." Elijah heard Britney Spear's song "Womanizer" on the radio lately and, since the term "womanizer" is not currently in his vocabulary but mommy has been talking about organizing a lot, he coined his own lyrics. =)

or⋅gan⋅ize:
1. to form as or into a whole consisting of interdependent or coordinated parts, esp. for united action

Lately I've been studying the "theory" behind the practice of organization. I've come to several interesting conclusions.

Organization begins inside. I haven't formally studied the "laws of manifestation", or the act of materializing one's dreams, goals, or wishes. But, one thing that keeps coming back to me lately is that all of those things begin with an internal intention which unites with the will to create a physical reality. My study of Genesis (a whole other story... I have been in the first two chapters for over a year now, there is just SO MUCH to take in!) illustrates this point very well. God's creative acts all began with forming the intention and speaking things into existence. We are created in His image so it would follow that on a spiritual level (spirit being intellect, will & emotion, not some synonym for "religious"), we "create" or "manifest" things in a similar fashion. Often, I believe, my own trouble begins at the point where the intention and the will unite. Unfortuneately, while I do have a "strong personality", I don't think I necessarily have a "strong will". The study of free will posed by Rudolph Steiner in his book "Intuitive Thinking as A Spiritual Path", discusses this at length and from what I can manage to decipher from his often dense philosophy is that true personal freedom and strength of will are evidenced in being able to accomplish what we set out to do. I realize that I become very bogged down and hindered by my own self-made obstructions and hang-ups. I don't act "freely" very often; I am subject to (read: enslaved by) my moods, emotions, and thoughts- instead of employing them in my own service. This is remedied by realizing that "I" am not my moods, emotions, and thoughts; rather, I am their moderator. If I choose to identify with them, instead of objectively observing them, I hand them control and their position is no longer conducive to my well-being. Many "religions" explain this truth; in Christianity I see it being refered to as "reconciling the old man dead"- who was bound by lusts; and the "new man" alive- who is "renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created Him". Beautiful.

So how to obtain this state of free will? One of our greatest tools for obtaining this is meditation- not in the sense of "clearing your mind of everything", which *can* be helpful if you're trying to destress or quiet yourself- but rather, meditation in the sense of focused thought. I LOVE Steiner's "Ruckshau Meditation", in which you travel backwards through your days or moments and objectively watch yourself as you behaved, without assigning "bad or good" or imputing guilt or righteousness. In this way, unclouded by emotions, I can see what I am doing and often, how I could have circumvented many problems simply by not being so reactive to my thoughts or feelings. I gain clarity and by avoiding the critical thoughts which often accompany our evaluations of how we have behaved, I develop compasssion, which is always a better motivator for me to encourage myself in the direction I wish to take.

So, organization begins inside. We cannot manifest true or lasting physical organization if our own internal terrain is not organized. Thus, my first goal is "to form as or into a whole consisting of interdependent or coordinated parts, esp. for united action", my intellect, emotions, and will. I can definately pinpoint places in my life where my intellect and emotions are at odds instead of ready for "united action", and vice versa. So galvanizing my will and not allowing thoughts or emotions to derail it will be my principle spiritual task as I seek to "get organized".

In setting intentions- marching orders for my will- I am utilizing Regina Leed's book "One Year to an Organized Life". The boys and I had some fun making "dreamboards"- collages of cut out "Cottage Living" magazine pictures glued to a large sheet of paper- depicting what we want our life to look like. I have to admit, Elijah's was very abstract and I must just be way too shallow to comprehend it. =)

Next, I privately journaled about my parent's relationship with organization. This brought up some very interesting realizations.

Then, I listed my goals in the present tense, and here they are:

1) I feel peaceful and calm about what I have accomplished each day. "It is enough". When I look around at "undone" tasks, I am peacefully able to remind myself that each task will be faced in its own time.

2)I do not spend all day on household management items, but I have fun routines with the children that break up the day.

3) I freely move and act without hang-ups or mental-emotional obstacles. When I see areas of backlog and/or obstruction, I calmly face the challenge and return energy flow and balance.

4) I have a sense of contentment with the degree of comfort I provide my family in their haven-home. I do not experience guilt for their lack of peace.

5) I model a healthy household for my children. Disorder feels strange to them because it is unusual, and they are aware of the specific place their posessions belong.

6) I enjoy each part of the day and develop self-comforting, positive rituals that reaffirm my sense of value in the placement of my priorities, even when my task is mundane.

7) Ultimately, our physical property remains useful and in our service. We are not "owned" by the time it takes to maintain "stuff", but rather, our "stuff" adds value to and enriches our lives and relationships.

Lastly, I divided up how I want to spend my time and tried to assign what percentages of the day seemed appropriate:

Meals- 15 % of day (approx. 2.4 hours)

Household Chores- 25% of day (approx. 4 hours) Note: includes bills, decorating, chores, maintenance, and tending the fire or gardening, respective of season)

Homeschooling/Playing w/ children- 15% of day (approx. 2.4 hours)

Internet, phone calls,reading, and hobbies- 12% of day (approx. 1 hr 55 min)

Planning ahead- 3% of day (approx. 29 min)

Spiritual pursuits- 5% of day (approx. 48 min)

Enjoying Life and Relationships- 15% of day (family time, bedtime routines, intimacy)

Misc. Stuff- 10% of day (approx 1.5 hrs) (dressing, hygiene, and the unexpected)


Well, I've laid the groundwork. I think I'll be getting more hands-on next time!

Introduction & the Metaphysics of Homemaking

This year, I chose 12 New Years Resolutions- 1 for each month:

January- Be Organized
February- Be Romantic
March- Be Frugal
April- Be Healthy
May- Be Festive
June- Be Cheerful
July- Be Creative
August- Be Visionary
September- Be Prepared
October- Be Generous
November- Be Resourceful
December- Be Intuitive

Incidentally, I was recently thinking about starting a blog. A few days later I was talking with Courtney and she asked me… “Have you ever thought of starting a blog?”. So, in the interest of having some moral support and accountability to bringing my resolutions to fruition, here is my blog. May it *at best* inspire, and *at least* keep my friends in touch.

So- January is “Be Organized”. Today was a great start. First of all, I did this:

I really should have taken a “before” picture so you could see the difference. I used to have a million things on my desk. My husband has, since the time we were married, urged me to take everything off and leave it open and clear. Where would I put the printer? What about my iMac? Well, I have a laptop to replace the old iMac (now we just use it to watch movies anyway, since we have no tv) and I set my printer in a nearby bookcase. Words cannot explain the feeling I have when I sit down at my desk now. Amazingly, it translates into a clear mind.

Having recently begun the study of Feng Shui, the layout of the room my desk is in just so happens to be commonly associated with “’Contemplation’ or ‘Inner Knowledge’- new learning, introspection, meditation, and inner guidance”. While I believe that our physical surroundings and lack of “Feng Shui” are not necessarily an impediment to the various aspects of our lives they correspond with, I have found Feng Shui to be incredibly enriching in the same way, as perhaps, going to church is a strengthening experience. It causes me to perform mental maintenance on the intangible areas of my life, simply because I am reminded of them as I enter each room. Being mindful of the fact that this room represents “Contemplation” causes me to evaluate the depth of my recent contemplations. If they are scarce, I think…hmm… how can I stimulate this area of my life? Remember the story of the woman with the “issue of blood” who simply touched the hem of Jesus’ garment and was healed? It was her faith, “activated” by her physical gesture, which brought her healing. Likewise, I might decide to light a candle, hang a prism in the window, or add a plant to this room to stimulate or stir up the dynamic there.

So, my desk is clear. I have a plant (something living and growing), a photo of my husband and I (foundational and grounding in my life), a pencil sharpener (I thought this was symbolic for mental “sharpness”), and a candle and lamp on it. I light the candle every time I sit down to stimulate light and warmth of thought. I might be rushed, harried, chaotic; but when I sit down now to this intentional, thoughtful surrounding, I am reminded of my goals and inspired to achieve them.

On to the kitchen!

While it is my goal to have the dishes done every night, sometimes this doesn’t happen. However, my “baby step” is that AT LEAST all the counters/surfaces are wiped clean, old food tossed, and dishes set to soak in a dishpan ON ONE SIDE of the sink. All the huge things (cutting boards, pots) must be washed. So instead of a crusty counter, dried on scum, and a pile of dishes in both sides of the sink, which gives me a HUGE “sinking” feeling (no pun intended) the second I think of it when I wake up… I have this much more manageable picture:

This symbolizes that I am setting myself up to meet the task with clarity and cheer. To further augment this, I have decided that every time I must leave something undone, I will leave myself an “incentive”. Maybe some days it will be a piece of chocolate on the windowsill. Today, it is this:

A candle and incense waiting to be lit, and my Badger Yoga and Meditation Balm ready for me. I have had the pleasure of having lunch with Badger Bill, owner of the company, and he says that simply the artwork alone on his tins have a healing effect. =)

So, tomorrow morning when I am ready to do the backlog, there will be incentive in the form of gentle reminders of the meaning and purpose in my work, and that it is work to be done with good intentions and the knowledge that dishwashing is, metaphysically speaking, the “spiritual alchemy” of the homemaker. I am also thinking of having a binder tucked under the sink with some print-outs of Grimm’s tales to refer to (it’s been a long time since I read it myself and I need refreshing!). It turns out dish duty is way more appealing to my 3 yr old when he gets to hear about Jack and the Beanstalk as he dries dishes! I don’t even have to ask him to dry… I just pull a chair up to the counter and start telling the story and have an instant volunteer!

Before I sign off for this time, I have to recommend a couple books. “Creating Sacred Space with Feng Shui” by Karen Kingston, and “Clear the Clutter: Make Space for Your Life” by Inge van der Ploeg. And that reminds me! Where would I be without my “Heavenly Home Guide”? I’ve mentioned it to a few of you and purposed to make some as gifts, and have had a couple suggestions to publish it… well, Val down at the gift shop has offered to help me in that pursuit and sell it there. Who knows?

The guide introduction offers a good snapshot of my ideals about my role and purpose at this junction of my life. It says,

"The very first way we touch our families with a sense of 'home' is by holding this vision in our own hearts. If we think of our home, speak of our home, and move and work within our home as though it is a vital, warm, and thoughtfully maintained place, we will, without words , convey this message to all who come within. This means we do not complete household duties and chores with an attitude of 'getting it over with' rather, we truly engage ourselves in completing our tasks, embuing them with our goodwill and creativity. Washing dishes is not drudgery, but a form of household alchemy. This is especially necessary for those with small children, who imitate not only our words and actions, but the spirit behind them. They 'drink in' the hardness or softness of our face, the cheerfulness or frustration in our posture, the very attitude we convey. We shape their attitude towards work, even when they are infants observing our 'mundane' chores.

What is a house without warmth? In modern times we often take for granted the concept of warmth. Many need only flick a switch to start a central heating system. Living with a wood stove as a primary source of heat, I have come to realize that warmth, in its natural, spiritual form, takes time and effort. A wood fire produces the ultimate light and heat, a warmth which no electric or gas source can match on a sensory level (a good reason to fill our homes with candlelight, especially at meal times!). A good fire requires time to light and maintain. Likewise, the warmth of a home requires time and maintenance. Just as I return from a long trip to find
my fire dying and embers cooling, when my attentions have been elsewhere, the spiritual and emotional warmth of my home fades. Just as our ancestors were drawn to the hearth as the center of all home activity, on a spiritual level our greatest tasks as homemakers is to create an 'emotional hearth'- a place where our hearts are warmed, our faces brightened with light, and our spiritual nourishment is prepared.

How do we provide emotional and spiritual nourishment for our loved ones? While there may be many “right” answers to this question, I have found the basis for meeting my family’s non-physical needs is to serve as a medium in helping them observe and identify with the natural rhythms of life- be it waking and eating; the days of the week and their unique landscapes; spring, summer, autumn and winter; or celebrating holy days, festivals, and simple rites of passage. While mere outward observance of these can become ritualistic and dry, it is exactly at this point when life becomes ritualistic and dry. A skilled homemaker helps enliven and create meaningful traditions which breathe spirit and purpose back into our souls. It has been said that, as young children, the daily routines and ways our days were ordered contribute to the very order and rhythm of our internal organs and processes. For example, when meals and snacks are served to young children consistently (both at a set time and following the same activity), their digestive systems become attuned and their body systems begin to run on an internal “clock”. This in turn affects blood sugar and sense of well-being and emotional balance. I believe, on a larger scale, our bodies are also impacted greatly by our observance of weather, season, and holidays; they bring order to the mind and emotions as they cover the great themes and symbols which life encompasses and which were set in place by our Creator to guide us. The liturgical year, or church calendar, for instance, urges us to seek light when we are surrounded by darkness (Michaelmas) and to kindle hope in the darkest times (Advent). What vital lessons to apply in all aspects of life. Practically, we do this in establishing routines for the day (young children love to mark these tasks with related songs), seasonally decorating our homes, and creating traditions and capturing them (photos, scrapbooks, even a family journal). Eating with the seasons can be a special way to do this; we can save certain meals for their respective seasons and prepare special holiday dishes to be anticipated each year.

Finally, how can we make our homes a place of rest? When we consider that the enemy of a restful state would be chaos, we can see that organization creates a peaceful atmosphere in our home..."

And thus I have come full circle, back to the resolution for this month... "Be Organized".