We are experimenting with wheat-free (yes, even spelt-free!) meals in our home. Even if my theory that wheat is affecting our son's attention span and ultimate comfort in his own little body is not true, I think it will be a good experience to seek out other whole grains. Here are the breakfast recipes I've collected for our trial- and some are also gluten free and/or lactose free.
Johnny Cakes
2 cups whole cornmeal
1 tsp salt
4 tbsp butter
1 cup milk
1-3 tbsp boiling water
Cream cornmeal and salt with butter. Add milk, then 1-3 tbsp boiling water to make a moist batter. Drop by large spoonfuls onto a hot greased griddle and flatten with the back of the spoon. Fry until firm and brown- tinged on the bottom, then turn and fry the other side. Serve hot- good with butter and maple syrup or jam.
Source- The New Book of Whole Grains
Millet Squares
3 cups millet
6 cups water
1/4 to 3/4 cup maple syrup
2 tbsp butter
Sea salt to taste
Apple/pear butter sauce or jam (optional)
Over medium heat, toast millet in the bottom of a large pot until you start to smell the millet. Add water, syrup, butter, and salt to the pot and bring to a boil. Reduce heat, cover, and cook at a slow boil for about 20 minutes. Do not stir. When all the water is absorbed, pour millet into a glass 9 x 13” baking dish and allow to cool and harden. Cut into small squares and top with optional sauce/jam.
Source- The Waldorf Kindergarten Snack Book
Russian Kasha
1 cup buckwheat groats (sprouted and dehydrated/baked at 150 til dry if possible, but not necessary)
1 egg, beaten
2 cups chicken stock
2 tbsp butter
½ tsp salt
Toast buckwheat groats in a heavy skillet for approx. 5 minutes. Let cool. Mix toasted buckwheat into bowl with beaten egg. Reheat pan and pour mixture in. Over medium-high heat, flatten, stir and chop the kasha with wooden fork until the egg has cooked and the kernels are hot and mostly separated, 2-4 minutes. Meanwhile, bring chicken stock to boil with butter and seasonings. Add kasha-egg mixture, bring to boil, cover, and turn heat to low. Cook about 30 minutes. Remove cover and fluff up with additional butter if desired.
Source: Nourishing Traditions
Scottish Oat Cakes
1 ¼ cups oat flour
¼ tsp baking soda
¼ tsp salt
1 egg, beaten
1 tbsp vegetable oil
¼ cup water
Mix dry ingredients, then add liquids. Add water or flour as necessary to obtain a dough that can be rolled out on a floured board. Roll to ¼ inch thickness, cut into rounds with a floured glass rim, and fry on a well greased griddle, fairly hot, for 5 minutes. Turn and fry on other side til brown.
Source: The New Book of Whole Grains
Apple Oat Crumble
4 tart apples, peeled and sliced
2 tbsp lemon juice
¼ tsp cinnamon
¼ cup butter
1/3 cup brown sugar (rapadura or sucanat)
1 tbsp water
1/3 cup oat flour
¼ tsp salt
2/3 cup rolled oats
Preheat oven to 325F. Butter a shallow 1 quart baking dish. Place apples in dish; sprinkle with lemon juice and cinnamon. Melt butter; stir together butter, sugar, flour, water, salt, and oats. Sprinkle over apples. Bake for 45 minutes. Serves 4.
Source: The New Book of Whole Grains
Peach Rye Crisp
4 cups sliced peaches
2 tbsp maple syrup
2 tbsp lemon juice
1 cup rye flour
¾ cup sugar (rapadura or sucanat)
1 ½ tsp cinnamon
¼ cup butter
Preheat oven to 350F. Place peaches in a buttered 1 ½ quart baking dish and sprinkle with honey and lemon juice. Stir together flour, sugar, and cinnamon. Cut in butter with a fork until soft crumbs form. Spread this mixture over peaches. Bake, uncovered, for 30-50 minutes.
Source: The New Book of Whole Grains
Coconut-Orange Cacao Bars
1 ½ cups raw pecans
1 cup dried figs
Zest and juice of one orange
½ tsp ground cinnamon
Pinch sea salt
1 cup flaked or shredded coconut
4-5 pitted Medjool dates
Reserved orange juice from figs
½ cup walnuts
2 Tbsp raw cacao nibs
Soak coconut in water for one hour. Remove stems from dried figs and soak in fresh-squeezed orange juice for at least one hour. In a food processor, finely chop the pecans with the orange zest. Add the soaked figs (set aside juice), cinnamon, sea salt, and process til blended. Press into a small square (8 x 8) pan and refrigerate while making filling. Drain the coconut and put all filling ingredients in food processor. Pulse until coarsely chopped and well-mixed, pat into prepared crust. Chill for several hours and cut into squares.
Source: http://gluten-dairy-sugarfree.com/
Artichoke & Tomato Frittata
1 package (9 oz) frozen artichoke hearts
¾ tsp salt1 tbsp olive or coconut oil
1 small onion, diced
8 large eggs
½ tsp basil (dried)
2 plum tomatoes, diced
In a 2 quart saucepan, heat frozen artichoke hearts, ¼ tsp salt, and ¼ cup water to boiling over high heat. Reduce heat to low; cover and simmer 6-8 minutes or til artichokes are tender. Drain. Meanwhile, in non-stick skillet with oven-safe handle, heat olive oil over medium heat until hot; cook onion til tender. Preheat oven to 350F. In bowl, mix eggs, basil, remaining salt, and ¼ cup water. Pour egg mixture over onions in skillet; sprinkle with artichokes and tomatoes. Cook over medium heat until edges begin to set, 3-4 minutes. Place frittata in oven; bake until set (less than 15 minutes).
Source: Unknown
Banana Bread
1 cup brown rice flour
½ tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
½ tsp salt 2 tbsp oil
¼ cup chopped walnuts
2 medium bananas, mashed (1 cup)
½ cup rice milk
2 tbsp tahini
Preheat oven to 425. Combine butter and oil in a shallow 1 quart casserole or 9” square baking pan. Place in oven to melt. Combine remaining ingredients, pour into hot baking dish, and return to oven for 30 minutes, until just set. Cut into 3” squares to serve.
Source: The Good Breakfast Book
Veggie Quiche with Hash Brown Crust
Crust:
3 cups peeled and grated potatoes
2 tbsp coconut oil or olive oil
½ tsp salt and dash of pepper
1 tbsp tapioca or corn starch
Custard:
4 large eggs
½ cup milk (cow,coconut or rice)
¼ tsp salt, dash pepper & nutmeg
Preheat oven to 425 and oil or grease a 9” pie pan. Mix crust ingredients and pour into pie pan, patting so the sides and bottom are covered evenly (coming up to top of sides). Bake for 30 minutes or until lightly browned. Remove from oven and reduce heat to 350.
Fillings: Spinach, cheese & mushroom; apple, ham, & cheese; or create your own variety (bacon, red pepper, tomato, broccoli, grated carrot, etc!)
Source: curiousfrau.com
Honey Rye Loaf
1 cup honey
¾ cup water
2 cups rye flour
½ tsp baking soda
2 tsp baking powder
1 tbsp cinnamon
½ tsp nutmeg
¼ cup chopped or slivered almonds
¼ cup chopped dates
grated rind of one orange
Preheat oven to 350. Combine honey and water and bring to boil. Remove from heat and add flour, baking soda, baking powder, cinnamon, and nutmeg and beat til smooth, at least 5 minutes w/ electric mixer. Batter should be thick and gluey. Fold in the remaining ingredients and spread batter into an oiled 8” loaf pan. Bake 1 hour. Place a pan of water on oven floor to create steam. Age one day before slicing.
Source: The Good Breakfast Book
Basic and/or Quick Breakfasts:
Home Fries and Eggs (boil potatoes the night before)
Fruit salad with yogurt
Oatmeal or cornmeal porridge and scrambled eggs
Brown Rice Crispies cereal w/ fruit and rice milk
Grits & Bacon
Corn tortillas with scrambled eggs, sautéed veggies & (opt) cheese
Platter with fruits (fresh & dried), cheeses, nuts, nut butters, hard-boiled eggs, etc
We haven't tried everything yet, so let me what you think if you use a recipe!
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Monday, May 4, 2009
Frugal?
This post is waayyy overdue, but my first trimester was a little rough and I was just tryin' to hang on!
The break *did* give me a long time to form a good idea of what frugality means/looks like to me. And it actually has a lot less to do with money than I ever would have imagined.
Most of the time, when people are talking about being "frugal", they are actually talking about being "cheap". I know, that doesn't sound very flattering- but I think it to be rather true. Frugality is about RESOURCES- and how they are used. It is about being resourceful- it is about thrift- it is about not wasting. Being cheap means spending as little as possible, and does not necessarily recognize the trade off between economy and quality. Frugality, on the other hand, leaves room to acknowledge that spending as little as possible may actually be just as wasteful as spending too much- because you get what you pay for, and if you are buying something of poor quality, your resources are being squandered. I am not disparaging the need to be cheap occasionally- after all, sometimes a little of that is required before we arrive at financial stability. But frugality offers a much richer ground for personal growth and good stewardship of resources- ours, and the world's.
When I set out on the topic of frugality, I thought I was in for a lesson on spending less money. What I came away with was a lesson on how I spend my time.
There is always a trade off between time and money. Convenience is truly something we pay for, and is now accounting for a majority of even our grocery dollars. Convenience often determines how often I put gas in my car- am I willing to stick it out and find creative ways to meet our needs if something at the store was forgotten? I even find that a lack of managing my time frugally leaves me feeling unsatisfied and craving outside distraction and entertainment... which often means spending more money. Idleness (such as when I was laid up on the couch with morning sickness) and its uglier cousin, laziness (which implies more personal responsibility than simply being idle, which may have due cause) translate into a rather empty feeling inside. Oh yes, we all need some relaxation and down time- but when we are downright unproductive, things don't feel right.
As mothers of little ones, productivity can hardly be measured in the actual volume of work we accomplish- rather, it is in the art of making each moment count. Being productive is being mindful, focused, and meeting the needs that present themselves to us, no matter how inconsequential they may seem in the grand scheme of things. My goal in all of this is to continually check in with myself- what need is presenting itself to me right now? Having paper nearby to capture fleeting reminders of things to be dealt with in the near future helps me focus on the present without distraction from the future- so does having a routine.
Ultimately, I have learned that "frugality" is not getting factory-farmed chicken breasts on sale for 99c per pound-it is getting the whole chicken and using each part so that nothing is wasted (roast chicken, bone broth, liver pate, and schmaltz). Frugality may not be running to the salvation army for new clothes, but rather weeding out the clothes I dislike so that when I approach my closet, there may be less, but everything I see is appealing (incidentally, since I followed Regina Leed's advice on organizing a closet by *color*, it not only looks beautiful, but it is much easier to make up my mind on what to wear each day- colors tend to reflect mood and I am immediately drawn to what jives with my mood).
Frugality is about adding quality to my life, by putting my creativity and intuition to use in how I manage my resources and make the most of each moment. It is about generating little to no waste- making the most of every moment, possession, and purchase.
The break *did* give me a long time to form a good idea of what frugality means/looks like to me. And it actually has a lot less to do with money than I ever would have imagined.
Most of the time, when people are talking about being "frugal", they are actually talking about being "cheap". I know, that doesn't sound very flattering- but I think it to be rather true. Frugality is about RESOURCES- and how they are used. It is about being resourceful- it is about thrift- it is about not wasting. Being cheap means spending as little as possible, and does not necessarily recognize the trade off between economy and quality. Frugality, on the other hand, leaves room to acknowledge that spending as little as possible may actually be just as wasteful as spending too much- because you get what you pay for, and if you are buying something of poor quality, your resources are being squandered. I am not disparaging the need to be cheap occasionally- after all, sometimes a little of that is required before we arrive at financial stability. But frugality offers a much richer ground for personal growth and good stewardship of resources- ours, and the world's.
When I set out on the topic of frugality, I thought I was in for a lesson on spending less money. What I came away with was a lesson on how I spend my time.
There is always a trade off between time and money. Convenience is truly something we pay for, and is now accounting for a majority of even our grocery dollars. Convenience often determines how often I put gas in my car- am I willing to stick it out and find creative ways to meet our needs if something at the store was forgotten? I even find that a lack of managing my time frugally leaves me feeling unsatisfied and craving outside distraction and entertainment... which often means spending more money. Idleness (such as when I was laid up on the couch with morning sickness) and its uglier cousin, laziness (which implies more personal responsibility than simply being idle, which may have due cause) translate into a rather empty feeling inside. Oh yes, we all need some relaxation and down time- but when we are downright unproductive, things don't feel right.
As mothers of little ones, productivity can hardly be measured in the actual volume of work we accomplish- rather, it is in the art of making each moment count. Being productive is being mindful, focused, and meeting the needs that present themselves to us, no matter how inconsequential they may seem in the grand scheme of things. My goal in all of this is to continually check in with myself- what need is presenting itself to me right now? Having paper nearby to capture fleeting reminders of things to be dealt with in the near future helps me focus on the present without distraction from the future- so does having a routine.
Ultimately, I have learned that "frugality" is not getting factory-farmed chicken breasts on sale for 99c per pound-it is getting the whole chicken and using each part so that nothing is wasted (roast chicken, bone broth, liver pate, and schmaltz). Frugality may not be running to the salvation army for new clothes, but rather weeding out the clothes I dislike so that when I approach my closet, there may be less, but everything I see is appealing (incidentally, since I followed Regina Leed's advice on organizing a closet by *color*, it not only looks beautiful, but it is much easier to make up my mind on what to wear each day- colors tend to reflect mood and I am immediately drawn to what jives with my mood).
Frugality is about adding quality to my life, by putting my creativity and intuition to use in how I manage my resources and make the most of each moment. It is about generating little to no waste- making the most of every moment, possession, and purchase.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Monday, March 23, 2009
Muffins!
Here's an "original" family favorite recipe. I use sprouted spelt flour but any will do.
2 cups + 2 tbsp flour of choice
1/2 tsp salt (I prefer celtic sea salt)
1 tbsp alum. free baking powder
3 tbsp melted coconut oil (if too expensive for your budget, sunflower oil will do)
1 egg, lightly beaten
1 cup water
1/4 cup maple syrup
1 cup shredded zucchini (optional)
1 cup blueberries
Mix dry ingredient, mix wet, then stir together. Add zucchini & blueberries and add to greased muffin pans (I like to brush the cups with melted butter. If there is any melted butter left over, I drizzle it over the muffins before eating them!). Cook in a 400 degree oven for 12-15 minutes.
If you have a mini muffin pan, your kids will love these for healthy snacks too!
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Romance
In my first post, I assigned New Year's Resolution number two- "be romantic"- to the month of February. I suppose, when I chose romance as a characteristic, I assumed it was sort of an umbrella under which all things lovey-dovey and sensual would collect. Having spent most of the month considering romance, I view it in a new light now- and, rather than phrasing it "be romantic", I have to change the title of the resolution to "be a romantic". As with many things in life, what we do is often of secondary importance to who we are.
Dictionary.com says:
ro⋅man⋅tic- [roh-man-tik] –adjective
1. imbued with or dominated by idealism, a desire for adventure, chivalry, etc.
2. characterized by a preoccupation with love or by the idealizing of love or one's beloved.
3. displaying or expressing love or strong affection.
4. ardent; passionate; fervent.
I like all of these definitions. It seems they all play a role in the workings of the romantic heart. Ultimately, I think they capture a spirit of passion and strong interest that always returns to its subject adoringly- whether that subject be a person or idea.
I believe the essence of romantic love is best understood if one views it as a sort of dance. This month I have meditated a great deal on the cosmic law of expansion and contraction. From the moment of birth when we "expand" out into the world, being filled with out first breath- then contract in as our lungs empty out again- we experience the universal forces of expansion and contraction. We can see the warming expansion of the sun as its light begins to fill our horizon and comes to its heights in the noon day; then light and temperature begin to contract inward as night approaches- as if each day were a giant macrocosm expression of a breath in and a breath out. As the month goes by, the moon expands and contracts upon itself entirely; and within the cycle of the year, the entire spring and summer may be seen as one great expansion of heat and life, the greenery stretching out and up towards the sky then sinking down and withering into the contraction of decay in the cooling autmn and frigid winter- as if the whole cycle of plant growth and decay were one breath in and breath out. The tides of the ocean, ebbing and flowing to the shore... the examples are limitless within the natural world.
What does this have to do with romance? With being a romantic? The dance we enjoy with our partners so often involves a coming together, then a parting, if only slight. Beyond the obvious physical implications of making love, on a soul level we often share moments of intense closeness, only to find a few days later that we feel rather distant- or even miles apart when in the same room. Different personalities express this differently- and the length of time a couple has been together may cause it to show ever more subtlely. While this "apartness" tends to feel rather unsettling when it is not expected, holding within myself the consciousness of expansion and contraction I now find it to be part of a cosmic love dance which involves uniting- becoming one- then retreating slightly to find our individuality again- without which we would never be whole to begin with. Now I can anticipate it- the moments the distinction between lovers blur away to almost nothingness; the moments we again find our own separate beings emerging from each other. This very anticipation itself is a great part of the romantic heart. No longer the disappointment when my husband leaves for a few days away- I can instead view it as hours I need to grow within my own being in a way that complements him when we are together again. Our meeting will be that much sweeter.
I wonder occasionally at the couples who claim they are no longer "in love". Do we fall in and fall out? Or is love, subject to the laws of expansion and contraction, sometimes felt differently in expansion than in contraction, in a way we do not expect to feel it? If we stay the course, we may be surprised to find ourselves merging back into one another, our view of our relationship to each other that much clearer for having endured the parting of our souls as we "breathe out".
Valentine's Day has come and gone; February was a busy little month but I will post pictures of the special "date" we created- a simple circle of candles to illuminate the room as we danced to soothing music and the children slept upstairs.
Dictionary.com says:
ro⋅man⋅tic- [roh-man-tik] –adjective
1. imbued with or dominated by idealism, a desire for adventure, chivalry, etc.
2. characterized by a preoccupation with love or by the idealizing of love or one's beloved.
3. displaying or expressing love or strong affection.
4. ardent; passionate; fervent.
I like all of these definitions. It seems they all play a role in the workings of the romantic heart. Ultimately, I think they capture a spirit of passion and strong interest that always returns to its subject adoringly- whether that subject be a person or idea.
I believe the essence of romantic love is best understood if one views it as a sort of dance. This month I have meditated a great deal on the cosmic law of expansion and contraction. From the moment of birth when we "expand" out into the world, being filled with out first breath- then contract in as our lungs empty out again- we experience the universal forces of expansion and contraction. We can see the warming expansion of the sun as its light begins to fill our horizon and comes to its heights in the noon day; then light and temperature begin to contract inward as night approaches- as if each day were a giant macrocosm expression of a breath in and a breath out. As the month goes by, the moon expands and contracts upon itself entirely; and within the cycle of the year, the entire spring and summer may be seen as one great expansion of heat and life, the greenery stretching out and up towards the sky then sinking down and withering into the contraction of decay in the cooling autmn and frigid winter- as if the whole cycle of plant growth and decay were one breath in and breath out. The tides of the ocean, ebbing and flowing to the shore... the examples are limitless within the natural world.
What does this have to do with romance? With being a romantic? The dance we enjoy with our partners so often involves a coming together, then a parting, if only slight. Beyond the obvious physical implications of making love, on a soul level we often share moments of intense closeness, only to find a few days later that we feel rather distant- or even miles apart when in the same room. Different personalities express this differently- and the length of time a couple has been together may cause it to show ever more subtlely. While this "apartness" tends to feel rather unsettling when it is not expected, holding within myself the consciousness of expansion and contraction I now find it to be part of a cosmic love dance which involves uniting- becoming one- then retreating slightly to find our individuality again- without which we would never be whole to begin with. Now I can anticipate it- the moments the distinction between lovers blur away to almost nothingness; the moments we again find our own separate beings emerging from each other. This very anticipation itself is a great part of the romantic heart. No longer the disappointment when my husband leaves for a few days away- I can instead view it as hours I need to grow within my own being in a way that complements him when we are together again. Our meeting will be that much sweeter.
I wonder occasionally at the couples who claim they are no longer "in love". Do we fall in and fall out? Or is love, subject to the laws of expansion and contraction, sometimes felt differently in expansion than in contraction, in a way we do not expect to feel it? If we stay the course, we may be surprised to find ourselves merging back into one another, our view of our relationship to each other that much clearer for having endured the parting of our souls as we "breathe out".
Valentine's Day has come and gone; February was a busy little month but I will post pictures of the special "date" we created- a simple circle of candles to illuminate the room as we danced to soothing music and the children slept upstairs.
While I was surprised with roses and chocolate the week before Valentine's Day, that evening a feast was prepared in my honor- all my favorites- lovingly cooked by my husband. I presented him with a gift of figs in the traditional heart-shaped box- an age old aphrodisiac.
How fitting it is that hearts symbolize romantic love- the heart, which expands and contracts rhythmically as it beats!
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Evening Rhythm- Guiding Our Children to Sleep
I chose the evening as a starting point for creating rhythm and ritual in our family life. Our day often begins with how well we prepared for ourselves the night before- and certainly the best preparation is the strengthened resolve after a good night's rest. Many ideas have converged to create what is working out to be a very smooth transition to sleep for the children. Lately I've been brainstorming with a friend to help solve a child's sleep disturbance issues, and that has helped me to solidify my attitude and thoughts towards this topic.
To begin with, I suppose my philosophy of the nature of sleep is very influential in how I approach it. I believe sleep can be likened to a meditative state. Interestingly, there are stories of people who have forgone sleep and participated in deep states of meditation which provided them with the "rest" and renewal they needed for the next day. I don't have experience with this- but I agree with Veronika Van Duin when she explains:
"Perhaps the simplest way to understand... is to imagine we face a problem with no apparent resolution. Intuitively we know we need time, a space, in which to allow the problem to sink down and be digested. Many people will ask for time to "sleep on" a question before having to answer it. And often, miraculously, the answer arrives the following morning. It may not be always so instantaneous. It may require a few nights before the answer surfaces, and we may wonder where it has come from. Sometimes we can even wake up with words ringing in our ears, telling us what to do. Who advises us? Who takes care of our unconscious knowledge and pushes it up into clear thoughts or new energy when we need it? Can we arrive at the same clear insight by means of meditation?"
While our mind and emotions govern our waking consciousness, I tend to think that our souls governs our sleeping consciousness. While the mind and emotions work with logic, words, and the like, our souls work with symbolism and imagery- the stuff of dreams. It is as if our souls are nocturnal, and they do much of their work as we sleep. We certainly don't "shut off" or cease to have consciousness- sleep research has proven that sleep consciousness is indeed consciousness, albeit a different level. Falling asleep is almost like falling into a trance... and when we wake we forget much of what went on.
I believe that our souls receive their nourishment as we sleep, gathering the fuel to process and sort out the issues of our life and revive us to fulfill our destiny or purpose. What are the consequences of lack of sleep? Are they not the same as personal and moral shortcomings - irritability, confusion, impatience?
How then, do I guide my children into this spiritual state of sleep? The first thing that comes to mind is to gently wipe away the sensory input of the physical world and its more tangible, mind and emotion centered objects. Water is a very spiritual medium- perhaps retaining some of the other-worldly element of being weightless and swimming before we were born. The Bible likens the Holy Spirit to water- in that it is "poured out". Bath time is a symbolic way to wipe away the things of the day, to cleanse and purify. They put on their pj's, and its a good time for me to as well. My mother in law told me she puts hers on quite early, because just seeing her in her night clothes helps her husband wind down and feel relaxed- yes, night has truly come. After baths, I offer the children a snack of bread and butter and some warmed milk with a tinge of honey. Both foods have biblical significance- spiritual foods- Jesus says He is the "bread of life", and the Promised land was said to overflow with "milk and honey".
Next we go upstairs to the children's room. Although we have two bedrooms available, I have put them in the same room to make the nighttime routine easier, as it is less ideal to have to transport a sleeping child to a different area than they fell asleep in (this can be unsettling). if the room is very untidy, it is important to set the stage for rest by eliminating chaos with a quick tidying session. It work wonders even to toss toys in the toybox or closet, put dirty clothes in the hamper, and freshen up the bedding. It's also a great idea to prepare for tomorrow by picking out clothes for the next day. If this is part of the routine, it forces us to have laundry done and put away before each evening, and we never face the drama of trying to get ready to go somewhere in the morning and missing socks or matching clothing!
We have a special candle for evening scented with the essential oils that induce relaxation (such as lavendar)- called "Sweet Dreams"- one of Way out Wax's soy candles. Sometimes I might rub a bit of Badger's Nighty Night Balm on the children's foreheads or chest, if they seem wound up. So I light the candle, and with Elijah in his bed and Kingston in my arms, usually nursing, as I rock in the rocking chair beside Elijah's bed, I tell them a story. Ideally, the story is told from memory as it can be hard to read picture books by candle. Some might choose to have a dim lamp and use story books. If so, it is best to steer away from stimulating books- this is not the time for Where the Wild Things Are! Even the Bible is a bit too strong in its symbolism and impact- perhaps why we are often urged to read it in the morning hours. I know for myself and others I have talked to, Bible reading before bed often leads to unsettling dreams. I think one of the more soothing Psalms- with thanksgiving or comfort as a theme- may be the exception. I remember as a child I often slept over my cousins', where before bed was a time of Bible reading followed by cornflakes. Whether it was the black and white strong biblical imagery or the sugary processed corn flakes, or a combination, I don't know- but all 5 of us children has nightmares quite often! Light fairytales and pictures with watercolors and pastels that are beautiful and soft catch the mood for falling asleep. The soft glow of the candle and the soothing sound of parent's voice, lets the impact of whatever story we tell really take root in their minds. A gentle touch while telling the story may be appreciated... up to the individual child.
If the child is facing an issue in their life- a problematic behaviour or showing outward signs of fear or anxiety, specific stories can be chosen as a therapeutic tool to plant subconscious suggestions or solutions they can use. If this idea sounds interesting, look into the book "Healing Stories for Challenging Behaviour" by Susan Perrow. In general, selected Grimm's tales are appropriate for youngest children; Hans Christian Anderson contains a bit more complexity and is best saved for those over 7. Aesop's fables are not recommended as they are rather preachy and moralize, instead of planting gentle suggestions which spark our own intuition and help us solve our problems from the heart outwards (which tends to have more motivating power for true change than mentally generated solutions).
If we had a troublesome day or any issues stand out, we talk about those and lay them to rest. For instance- "Mommy really lost her temper today when such-and-such happened, and I'm sorry for raising my voice. Will you forgive me? We will start fresh and new tomorrow won't we?" Now we say our prayers. Forgiveness is very important before we fall asleep. Sometimes one of my children voices a concern for being lonely at night in his bed all by himself. We talk about his guardian angel, who "encamps round about him" and protects him. Then he feels better about it.
I sing a song that I have sung to them as a lullaby from birth- one which my own mother sang to me.
Usually they fall asleep easily with this. If trouble arises, I have learned a few techniques to help them. Sometimes rubbing my hand lightly down across their forehead and over the eyelids helps them keep their eyes shut and fall asleep (especially with babies). My best technique is breathing. When I studied the safety reasons for cosleeping, I discovered that one benefit is a huge decrease in the incidence of SIDS. Why? Because babies automatically adjust their breathing to ours, as if we are setting the pattern for them. They are less likely to stop breathing simply because they hear us breathe. So I close my eyes and breathe deeply as if I were sleeping, and often times this is just the gentle coaxing a small child needs to follow suit enter the world of dreams.
Essentially, we prepare them for inward activity by veiling the more outward and physcial activities of life, as we guide them to sleep. "Stimulating books and television before bed are absolutely not appropriate". See this excellent article on sleep disturbances- http://www.waldorflibrary.org/waldorf%20journals%20project/SleepDisturbances.pdf
Once they have drifted off, I sometimes pause to watch them sleeping "like little angels." This reminds me to offer a note of thanks to their angels for all the ministering and guarding they offer in their service to God... and if it was a particularly difficult day with one of the children, I may take an extra moment to settle those issues, staying beside them or crawling into bed with them just long enough to say a few prayers of my own, or perform a meditation, until my well of empathy and goodwill is full again (whether towards the child for their behaviour, or myself for my shortcomings as a parent).
Don't forget to blow out the candle!
Goodnight.
To begin with, I suppose my philosophy of the nature of sleep is very influential in how I approach it. I believe sleep can be likened to a meditative state. Interestingly, there are stories of people who have forgone sleep and participated in deep states of meditation which provided them with the "rest" and renewal they needed for the next day. I don't have experience with this- but I agree with Veronika Van Duin when she explains:
"Perhaps the simplest way to understand... is to imagine we face a problem with no apparent resolution. Intuitively we know we need time, a space, in which to allow the problem to sink down and be digested. Many people will ask for time to "sleep on" a question before having to answer it. And often, miraculously, the answer arrives the following morning. It may not be always so instantaneous. It may require a few nights before the answer surfaces, and we may wonder where it has come from. Sometimes we can even wake up with words ringing in our ears, telling us what to do. Who advises us? Who takes care of our unconscious knowledge and pushes it up into clear thoughts or new energy when we need it? Can we arrive at the same clear insight by means of meditation?"
While our mind and emotions govern our waking consciousness, I tend to think that our souls governs our sleeping consciousness. While the mind and emotions work with logic, words, and the like, our souls work with symbolism and imagery- the stuff of dreams. It is as if our souls are nocturnal, and they do much of their work as we sleep. We certainly don't "shut off" or cease to have consciousness- sleep research has proven that sleep consciousness is indeed consciousness, albeit a different level. Falling asleep is almost like falling into a trance... and when we wake we forget much of what went on.
I believe that our souls receive their nourishment as we sleep, gathering the fuel to process and sort out the issues of our life and revive us to fulfill our destiny or purpose. What are the consequences of lack of sleep? Are they not the same as personal and moral shortcomings - irritability, confusion, impatience?
How then, do I guide my children into this spiritual state of sleep? The first thing that comes to mind is to gently wipe away the sensory input of the physical world and its more tangible, mind and emotion centered objects. Water is a very spiritual medium- perhaps retaining some of the other-worldly element of being weightless and swimming before we were born. The Bible likens the Holy Spirit to water- in that it is "poured out". Bath time is a symbolic way to wipe away the things of the day, to cleanse and purify. They put on their pj's, and its a good time for me to as well. My mother in law told me she puts hers on quite early, because just seeing her in her night clothes helps her husband wind down and feel relaxed- yes, night has truly come. After baths, I offer the children a snack of bread and butter and some warmed milk with a tinge of honey. Both foods have biblical significance- spiritual foods- Jesus says He is the "bread of life", and the Promised land was said to overflow with "milk and honey".
Next we go upstairs to the children's room. Although we have two bedrooms available, I have put them in the same room to make the nighttime routine easier, as it is less ideal to have to transport a sleeping child to a different area than they fell asleep in (this can be unsettling). if the room is very untidy, it is important to set the stage for rest by eliminating chaos with a quick tidying session. It work wonders even to toss toys in the toybox or closet, put dirty clothes in the hamper, and freshen up the bedding. It's also a great idea to prepare for tomorrow by picking out clothes for the next day. If this is part of the routine, it forces us to have laundry done and put away before each evening, and we never face the drama of trying to get ready to go somewhere in the morning and missing socks or matching clothing!
We have a special candle for evening scented with the essential oils that induce relaxation (such as lavendar)- called "Sweet Dreams"- one of Way out Wax's soy candles. Sometimes I might rub a bit of Badger's Nighty Night Balm on the children's foreheads or chest, if they seem wound up. So I light the candle, and with Elijah in his bed and Kingston in my arms, usually nursing, as I rock in the rocking chair beside Elijah's bed, I tell them a story. Ideally, the story is told from memory as it can be hard to read picture books by candle. Some might choose to have a dim lamp and use story books. If so, it is best to steer away from stimulating books- this is not the time for Where the Wild Things Are! Even the Bible is a bit too strong in its symbolism and impact- perhaps why we are often urged to read it in the morning hours. I know for myself and others I have talked to, Bible reading before bed often leads to unsettling dreams. I think one of the more soothing Psalms- with thanksgiving or comfort as a theme- may be the exception. I remember as a child I often slept over my cousins', where before bed was a time of Bible reading followed by cornflakes. Whether it was the black and white strong biblical imagery or the sugary processed corn flakes, or a combination, I don't know- but all 5 of us children has nightmares quite often! Light fairytales and pictures with watercolors and pastels that are beautiful and soft catch the mood for falling asleep. The soft glow of the candle and the soothing sound of parent's voice, lets the impact of whatever story we tell really take root in their minds. A gentle touch while telling the story may be appreciated... up to the individual child.
If the child is facing an issue in their life- a problematic behaviour or showing outward signs of fear or anxiety, specific stories can be chosen as a therapeutic tool to plant subconscious suggestions or solutions they can use. If this idea sounds interesting, look into the book "Healing Stories for Challenging Behaviour" by Susan Perrow. In general, selected Grimm's tales are appropriate for youngest children; Hans Christian Anderson contains a bit more complexity and is best saved for those over 7. Aesop's fables are not recommended as they are rather preachy and moralize, instead of planting gentle suggestions which spark our own intuition and help us solve our problems from the heart outwards (which tends to have more motivating power for true change than mentally generated solutions).
If we had a troublesome day or any issues stand out, we talk about those and lay them to rest. For instance- "Mommy really lost her temper today when such-and-such happened, and I'm sorry for raising my voice. Will you forgive me? We will start fresh and new tomorrow won't we?" Now we say our prayers. Forgiveness is very important before we fall asleep. Sometimes one of my children voices a concern for being lonely at night in his bed all by himself. We talk about his guardian angel, who "encamps round about him" and protects him. Then he feels better about it.
I sing a song that I have sung to them as a lullaby from birth- one which my own mother sang to me.
Usually they fall asleep easily with this. If trouble arises, I have learned a few techniques to help them. Sometimes rubbing my hand lightly down across their forehead and over the eyelids helps them keep their eyes shut and fall asleep (especially with babies). My best technique is breathing. When I studied the safety reasons for cosleeping, I discovered that one benefit is a huge decrease in the incidence of SIDS. Why? Because babies automatically adjust their breathing to ours, as if we are setting the pattern for them. They are less likely to stop breathing simply because they hear us breathe. So I close my eyes and breathe deeply as if I were sleeping, and often times this is just the gentle coaxing a small child needs to follow suit enter the world of dreams.
Essentially, we prepare them for inward activity by veiling the more outward and physcial activities of life, as we guide them to sleep. "Stimulating books and television before bed are absolutely not appropriate". See this excellent article on sleep disturbances- http://www.waldorflibrary.org/waldorf%20journals%20project/SleepDisturbances.pdf
Once they have drifted off, I sometimes pause to watch them sleeping "like little angels." This reminds me to offer a note of thanks to their angels for all the ministering and guarding they offer in their service to God... and if it was a particularly difficult day with one of the children, I may take an extra moment to settle those issues, staying beside them or crawling into bed with them just long enough to say a few prayers of my own, or perform a meditation, until my well of empathy and goodwill is full again (whether towards the child for their behaviour, or myself for my shortcomings as a parent).
Don't forget to blow out the candle!
Goodnight.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Goodwill Housekeeping
Lately I've felt like a tumbleweed. Why is it that I can create a beautiful "rhythm" for my day and then cast it by the wayside when it comes down to the nitty gritty?
In week two of "One Year to an Organized Life", Regina talks about the importance of establishing routines (I use the word "rhythms"). Being a Waldorf education devotee I am very in tune with this idea. However, taking a good inventory of my life, I have to admit that I have great struggles here. I am spontaneous, passionate, and... random! Last post I talked about "spiritual organization"- directing my intellect and emotions to work together with my will. How can I apply that concept to this area of my life?
These are the thoughts that have come to me.
What happens when I operate for a very long time outside the realm of goodwill? If I harbor many negative attitudes and feelings towards the mundane aspects of life, won't I come to view them as not simply "ordinary", but as "unpleasant"?
Have I accepted the attitude of a society that often functions not in terms of personal responsibility, but by "ought to", "should", "have to", "need to", and "must"? What happens when I identify with this mindset as I complete my tasks? Do I think of my occupation as livelihood, chosen work, my calling? Or is it drudgery, the daily grind, labor? Do I view the things I am responsible for- home and children and belongings- as priviledges and gifts, or duties and obligations? If I identify with the latter, am I not weakening my own free will and poisoning my attitude towards my accomplishments?
Yes... if I view something as undesirable, it becomes undesirable. I create my own reality. So my first step is to change my perspective and learn to see, feel, and believe these to be honorable, enjoyable, and valuable pieces of my day- quoting from my first post, I mean to "truly engage myself in my tasks, embuing them with my goodwill and creativity. Washing dishes is not drudgery, but a form of household alchemy. This is especially necessary for me with small children, who imitate not only my words and actions, but the spirit behind them. They 'drink in' the hardness or softness of my face, the cheerfulness or frustration in my posture, the very attitude I convey. I shape their attitude towards work, even when they are infants observing my 'mundane' chores."
I have christened my intent "goodwill housekeeping". Let me explain...
Growth-wise, the book "Nonviolent Communication" revolutionized my life this year. While the process of integrating it into immediate practice has been very slow- it takes time to develop the habit of thinking things through before speaking (I am more of a "stream of consciousness" person)- it did immediately change the way I evaluate myself and my relationships. It brought me such compassion for myself that guilt and blame have found little room to roost.
NVC addresses the issues of personal freedom/autonomy and goodwill. It proposes the idea that when we do something because we are told, or tell ourselves, we "have to", we sidestep our autonomy and reduce our sense of personal responsibility for our life. We feel more like a victim, a drudge, a person who is trapped by circumstances, and impersonal to our tasks. What about those things we really "must" do? Perhaps there really *are* things we must do (like eat)- but, even then we can dissect those things down to choice (*I choose to eat because I want to relieve my hunger*). It may seem like semantics- and I suppose it is. But my life experiences and personality have led me to a place where examining the realities behind the semantics is truly helpful and enlightening. I am better able to carry a sense of empowerment and individual responsibility into my life when I view it in terms of my choice. So, while circumstances may seem to dictate that I change a dirty diaper, I remind myself "I choose to change that diaper now because I care for Kingston's comfort". I then bring that word- "care"- into my task.
If I cannot honestly make the choice within myself to complete a task or fulfill a request with benevolence, or cheerful aquiesence, I am better off waiting until I can, or declining to do it. When I do something outside of goodwill, I generate resentment towards whoever it is that is generating the demand- even if it is myself! The more I have considered the "laws of the universe"- my name for those spiritual truths that seem to play out timelessly- the more I consider that negativity breeds negativity. So it makes sense that "consent" with resentment is not productive. At first I thought this would mean I'd just end up saying no all the time. But, it actually means I say yes quite often and with a much better attitude. As soon as a request is made of me (by myself or another), I do a personal inventory. I examine my attitude. I don't ask myself "Do I feel goodwill about it?", but rather, "Can I choose to do this with goodwill?"- in essence, "Am I willing to have goodwill"? Often simply checking with myself feels very respectful, as if I am honoring my internal compass instead of comandeering it. I can then acknowledge "Yes, I am able to do this with goodwill". Rather than carrying it out automatically (and my "automatic" tends to be either thoughtlessly or with boredom, annoyment, or the sense that I am overwhelmed with everything I have to do)- I carry it out mindfully and imbue it with the sense of goodwill and cheer that my introspectioon has summoned up within me.
Relationally, in marriage, dh and I understand the value of good will. If one of us cannot do something for the other in goodwill, and the other pushes to have it done anyway, we always end up regretting the resulting negativity and frustration- resentment- shown by our partner, and it overshadows any "victory" of having gotten what we want. Over time resentment builds up and creates very unhealthy patterns in our relationships and within us. Perhaps resentment is a precursor to bitterness? So, if I feel like I have a need that must be met, and I sense dh is not able to meet it with goodwill, I have developed my ability to trust God to meet my needs. I bring my petition and my intuition and... doors are opened! Sometimes my needs are met in a way I never would have imagined, had I been insistent upon fulfulling my original demand in the way *I* saw fit.
Returning to the issue at hand- following through with my routines. How can I bring this sense of individual responsibility (perhaps, one could say "freedom"?) and goodwill to their fulfillment? I believe I can do this by crafting rituals and weaving them into my day, to aid me in perceiving the true worth and importance of my chosen work.
rit⋅u⋅al /ˈrɪtʃuəl/ –noun
1. A set of actions, often thought to have symbolic value, the performance of which is usually prescribed because of the perceived efficacy of those actions.
Beyond this, I even consider defining my household duties as sacraments. "A sacrament, as defined in Hexam's Concise Dictionary of Religion is "a Rite in which God is uniquely active." Augustine of Hippo defined a Christian sacrament as "a visible sign of an invisible reality."(sacrament is a step closer to god) The Anglican Book of Common Prayer speaks of them as "an outward and visible sign of an inward and invisible Grace." Examples of sacraments would be Baptism and the Mass." (Wikipedia)
One of my favorite books, "The Quotidian Mysteries" likens the sacrament of communion and subsequent public washing of the communion dishes done by certain priests, to a homemaker washing dishes. Amazingly, I *do* see many similarities between the traditional 7 sacraments and my household functions. And of course I believe God is uniquely active in our work in the home. Aren't these physical manifestations of our care for our family "outward and visible signs of His inward and invisible grace?"
The traditional Seven Sacraments of the Catholic Church or "divine mysteries" are listed as the following:
Baptism
Confirmation
The Eucharist, Mass or Lord's Supper
Reconciliation of a Penitent (Confession)
Anointing of the Sick or Extreme Unction
Ordination
Matrimony
Perhaps the Seven Sacraments of the Mother and Wife would be:
Laundry (the correlation to baptism seems quite obvious, as our clothes are submerged and emerge "new")
Hospitality (like confirmation, it identifies one as welcome and confers gifts)
Nourishing or Cooking
Cleaning (a form of reconciling, absolving, or "washing away")
Nursing The Sick
Instructing Children (In essence, we "ordinate" our children to the ways of life)
Marital Intimacy
These also correspond to the "Seven Life Processes" which I have come to understand through the pages of Veronika Van Duin's amazing book "Homemaking and Personal Development". Truly a magical catalyst for personal growth and spiritual practice!
I have ordered a few books to help me create symbolic activities (whether physical or nonphysical) to accompany my "sacraments". "Rituals for Sacred Living", "Joy of Family Rituals", and "Spirit of the Home", are all on their way (used books are so wonderful!). I am also drooling over "Cooking for the Love of the World- Awakening our Spirituality Through Cooking" on christopherushomeschool.org.
So far I have been lighting candles each time I move into a room to do a chore. Fire has always been a part of ceremonial rites, and for good reason- it symbolizes many ideas such as "spark of determination", "warmth (of spirit)", "illumination"...
I am also learning more about essential oils and homeopathic flower essences and the emotions they support and summon up. Ever since I began making my cleaning products with essential oils, my attitude while cleaning has soared. What can compare to beautifying the bathroom while breathing in the invigorating scent of peppermint or grapefruit? Antibacterial and uplifting... purging both room and mind of negativity. (See this link for the recipes- http://www.greenwaycleaning.com/uploads/Recipe_Card_side_1.pdf )
It's amazing how those things which seem so menial really do carry great import in the spiritual realm, while the things which receive so much acclaim in our culture (sexual appeal, wealth, and fame or power) have very little significance in places ethereal.
I'll end this essay in "goodwill housekeeping" with one last definition- a variation of the meaning of goodwill. In commerce, "goodwill" 'refers to an intangible, salable asset arising from the reputation of a business and its relations with its customers, distinct from the value of its stock'. In other words, goodwill speaks of our worth being multiplied beyond our actual abilities, resources, and accomplishments- simply because of the quality of our actions and relations with those around us. So to all, I wish you goodwill.
In week two of "One Year to an Organized Life", Regina talks about the importance of establishing routines (I use the word "rhythms"). Being a Waldorf education devotee I am very in tune with this idea. However, taking a good inventory of my life, I have to admit that I have great struggles here. I am spontaneous, passionate, and... random! Last post I talked about "spiritual organization"- directing my intellect and emotions to work together with my will. How can I apply that concept to this area of my life?
These are the thoughts that have come to me.
What happens when I operate for a very long time outside the realm of goodwill? If I harbor many negative attitudes and feelings towards the mundane aspects of life, won't I come to view them as not simply "ordinary", but as "unpleasant"?
Have I accepted the attitude of a society that often functions not in terms of personal responsibility, but by "ought to", "should", "have to", "need to", and "must"? What happens when I identify with this mindset as I complete my tasks? Do I think of my occupation as livelihood, chosen work, my calling? Or is it drudgery, the daily grind, labor? Do I view the things I am responsible for- home and children and belongings- as priviledges and gifts, or duties and obligations? If I identify with the latter, am I not weakening my own free will and poisoning my attitude towards my accomplishments?
Yes... if I view something as undesirable, it becomes undesirable. I create my own reality. So my first step is to change my perspective and learn to see, feel, and believe these to be honorable, enjoyable, and valuable pieces of my day- quoting from my first post, I mean to "truly engage myself in my tasks, embuing them with my goodwill and creativity. Washing dishes is not drudgery, but a form of household alchemy. This is especially necessary for me with small children, who imitate not only my words and actions, but the spirit behind them. They 'drink in' the hardness or softness of my face, the cheerfulness or frustration in my posture, the very attitude I convey. I shape their attitude towards work, even when they are infants observing my 'mundane' chores."
I have christened my intent "goodwill housekeeping". Let me explain...
Growth-wise, the book "Nonviolent Communication" revolutionized my life this year. While the process of integrating it into immediate practice has been very slow- it takes time to develop the habit of thinking things through before speaking (I am more of a "stream of consciousness" person)- it did immediately change the way I evaluate myself and my relationships. It brought me such compassion for myself that guilt and blame have found little room to roost.
NVC addresses the issues of personal freedom/autonomy and goodwill. It proposes the idea that when we do something because we are told, or tell ourselves, we "have to", we sidestep our autonomy and reduce our sense of personal responsibility for our life. We feel more like a victim, a drudge, a person who is trapped by circumstances, and impersonal to our tasks. What about those things we really "must" do? Perhaps there really *are* things we must do (like eat)- but, even then we can dissect those things down to choice (*I choose to eat because I want to relieve my hunger*). It may seem like semantics- and I suppose it is. But my life experiences and personality have led me to a place where examining the realities behind the semantics is truly helpful and enlightening. I am better able to carry a sense of empowerment and individual responsibility into my life when I view it in terms of my choice. So, while circumstances may seem to dictate that I change a dirty diaper, I remind myself "I choose to change that diaper now because I care for Kingston's comfort". I then bring that word- "care"- into my task.
If I cannot honestly make the choice within myself to complete a task or fulfill a request with benevolence, or cheerful aquiesence, I am better off waiting until I can, or declining to do it. When I do something outside of goodwill, I generate resentment towards whoever it is that is generating the demand- even if it is myself! The more I have considered the "laws of the universe"- my name for those spiritual truths that seem to play out timelessly- the more I consider that negativity breeds negativity. So it makes sense that "consent" with resentment is not productive. At first I thought this would mean I'd just end up saying no all the time. But, it actually means I say yes quite often and with a much better attitude. As soon as a request is made of me (by myself or another), I do a personal inventory. I examine my attitude. I don't ask myself "Do I feel goodwill about it?", but rather, "Can I choose to do this with goodwill?"- in essence, "Am I willing to have goodwill"? Often simply checking with myself feels very respectful, as if I am honoring my internal compass instead of comandeering it. I can then acknowledge "Yes, I am able to do this with goodwill". Rather than carrying it out automatically (and my "automatic" tends to be either thoughtlessly or with boredom, annoyment, or the sense that I am overwhelmed with everything I have to do)- I carry it out mindfully and imbue it with the sense of goodwill and cheer that my introspectioon has summoned up within me.
Relationally, in marriage, dh and I understand the value of good will. If one of us cannot do something for the other in goodwill, and the other pushes to have it done anyway, we always end up regretting the resulting negativity and frustration- resentment- shown by our partner, and it overshadows any "victory" of having gotten what we want. Over time resentment builds up and creates very unhealthy patterns in our relationships and within us. Perhaps resentment is a precursor to bitterness? So, if I feel like I have a need that must be met, and I sense dh is not able to meet it with goodwill, I have developed my ability to trust God to meet my needs. I bring my petition and my intuition and... doors are opened! Sometimes my needs are met in a way I never would have imagined, had I been insistent upon fulfulling my original demand in the way *I* saw fit.
Returning to the issue at hand- following through with my routines. How can I bring this sense of individual responsibility (perhaps, one could say "freedom"?) and goodwill to their fulfillment? I believe I can do this by crafting rituals and weaving them into my day, to aid me in perceiving the true worth and importance of my chosen work.
rit⋅u⋅al /ˈrɪtʃuəl/ –noun
1. A set of actions, often thought to have symbolic value, the performance of which is usually prescribed because of the perceived efficacy of those actions.
Beyond this, I even consider defining my household duties as sacraments. "A sacrament, as defined in Hexam's Concise Dictionary of Religion is "a Rite in which God is uniquely active." Augustine of Hippo defined a Christian sacrament as "a visible sign of an invisible reality."(sacrament is a step closer to god) The Anglican Book of Common Prayer speaks of them as "an outward and visible sign of an inward and invisible Grace." Examples of sacraments would be Baptism and the Mass." (Wikipedia)
One of my favorite books, "The Quotidian Mysteries" likens the sacrament of communion and subsequent public washing of the communion dishes done by certain priests, to a homemaker washing dishes. Amazingly, I *do* see many similarities between the traditional 7 sacraments and my household functions. And of course I believe God is uniquely active in our work in the home. Aren't these physical manifestations of our care for our family "outward and visible signs of His inward and invisible grace?"
The traditional Seven Sacraments of the Catholic Church or "divine mysteries" are listed as the following:
Baptism
Confirmation
The Eucharist, Mass or Lord's Supper
Reconciliation of a Penitent (Confession)
Anointing of the Sick or Extreme Unction
Ordination
Matrimony
Perhaps the Seven Sacraments of the Mother and Wife would be:
Laundry (the correlation to baptism seems quite obvious, as our clothes are submerged and emerge "new")
Hospitality (like confirmation, it identifies one as welcome and confers gifts)
Nourishing or Cooking
Cleaning (a form of reconciling, absolving, or "washing away")
Nursing The Sick
Instructing Children (In essence, we "ordinate" our children to the ways of life)
Marital Intimacy
These also correspond to the "Seven Life Processes" which I have come to understand through the pages of Veronika Van Duin's amazing book "Homemaking and Personal Development". Truly a magical catalyst for personal growth and spiritual practice!
I have ordered a few books to help me create symbolic activities (whether physical or nonphysical) to accompany my "sacraments". "Rituals for Sacred Living", "Joy of Family Rituals", and "Spirit of the Home", are all on their way (used books are so wonderful!). I am also drooling over "Cooking for the Love of the World- Awakening our Spirituality Through Cooking" on christopherushomeschool.org.
So far I have been lighting candles each time I move into a room to do a chore. Fire has always been a part of ceremonial rites, and for good reason- it symbolizes many ideas such as "spark of determination", "warmth (of spirit)", "illumination"...
I am also learning more about essential oils and homeopathic flower essences and the emotions they support and summon up. Ever since I began making my cleaning products with essential oils, my attitude while cleaning has soared. What can compare to beautifying the bathroom while breathing in the invigorating scent of peppermint or grapefruit? Antibacterial and uplifting... purging both room and mind of negativity. (See this link for the recipes- http://www.greenwaycleaning.com/uploads/Recipe_Card_side_1.pdf )
It's amazing how those things which seem so menial really do carry great import in the spiritual realm, while the things which receive so much acclaim in our culture (sexual appeal, wealth, and fame or power) have very little significance in places ethereal.
I'll end this essay in "goodwill housekeeping" with one last definition- a variation of the meaning of goodwill. In commerce, "goodwill" 'refers to an intangible, salable asset arising from the reputation of a business and its relations with its customers, distinct from the value of its stock'. In other words, goodwill speaks of our worth being multiplied beyond our actual abilities, resources, and accomplishments- simply because of the quality of our actions and relations with those around us. So to all, I wish you goodwill.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Organizing as a Manifestation
"Organizer, organizer, baby you're an organizer..." Elijah heard Britney Spear's song "Womanizer" on the radio lately and, since the term "womanizer" is not currently in his vocabulary but mommy has been talking about organizing a lot, he coined his own lyrics. =)
or⋅gan⋅ize:
1. to form as or into a whole consisting of interdependent or coordinated parts, esp. for united action
Lately I've been studying the "theory" behind the practice of organization. I've come to several interesting conclusions.
Organization begins inside. I haven't formally studied the "laws of manifestation", or the act of materializing one's dreams, goals, or wishes. But, one thing that keeps coming back to me lately is that all of those things begin with an internal intention which unites with the will to create a physical reality. My study of Genesis (a whole other story... I have been in the first two chapters for over a year now, there is just SO MUCH to take in!) illustrates this point very well. God's creative acts all began with forming the intention and speaking things into existence. We are created in His image so it would follow that on a spiritual level (spirit being intellect, will & emotion, not some synonym for "religious"), we "create" or "manifest" things in a similar fashion. Often, I believe, my own trouble begins at the point where the intention and the will unite. Unfortuneately, while I do have a "strong personality", I don't think I necessarily have a "strong will". The study of free will posed by Rudolph Steiner in his book "Intuitive Thinking as A Spiritual Path", discusses this at length and from what I can manage to decipher from his often dense philosophy is that true personal freedom and strength of will are evidenced in being able to accomplish what we set out to do. I realize that I become very bogged down and hindered by my own self-made obstructions and hang-ups. I don't act "freely" very often; I am subject to (read: enslaved by) my moods, emotions, and thoughts- instead of employing them in my own service. This is remedied by realizing that "I" am not my moods, emotions, and thoughts; rather, I am their moderator. If I choose to identify with them, instead of objectively observing them, I hand them control and their position is no longer conducive to my well-being. Many "religions" explain this truth; in Christianity I see it being refered to as "reconciling the old man dead"- who was bound by lusts; and the "new man" alive- who is "renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created Him". Beautiful.
So how to obtain this state of free will? One of our greatest tools for obtaining this is meditation- not in the sense of "clearing your mind of everything", which *can* be helpful if you're trying to destress or quiet yourself- but rather, meditation in the sense of focused thought. I LOVE Steiner's "Ruckshau Meditation", in which you travel backwards through your days or moments and objectively watch yourself as you behaved, without assigning "bad or good" or imputing guilt or righteousness. In this way, unclouded by emotions, I can see what I am doing and often, how I could have circumvented many problems simply by not being so reactive to my thoughts or feelings. I gain clarity and by avoiding the critical thoughts which often accompany our evaluations of how we have behaved, I develop compasssion, which is always a better motivator for me to encourage myself in the direction I wish to take.
So, organization begins inside. We cannot manifest true or lasting physical organization if our own internal terrain is not organized. Thus, my first goal is "to form as or into a whole consisting of interdependent or coordinated parts, esp. for united action", my intellect, emotions, and will. I can definately pinpoint places in my life where my intellect and emotions are at odds instead of ready for "united action", and vice versa. So galvanizing my will and not allowing thoughts or emotions to derail it will be my principle spiritual task as I seek to "get organized".
In setting intentions- marching orders for my will- I am utilizing Regina Leed's book "One Year to an Organized Life". The boys and I had some fun making "dreamboards"- collages of cut out "Cottage Living" magazine pictures glued to a large sheet of paper- depicting what we want our life to look like. I have to admit, Elijah's was very abstract and I must just be way too shallow to comprehend it. =)
Next, I privately journaled about my parent's relationship with organization. This brought up some very interesting realizations.
Then, I listed my goals in the present tense, and here they are:
1) I feel peaceful and calm about what I have accomplished each day. "It is enough". When I look around at "undone" tasks, I am peacefully able to remind myself that each task will be faced in its own time.
2)I do not spend all day on household management items, but I have fun routines with the children that break up the day.
3) I freely move and act without hang-ups or mental-emotional obstacles. When I see areas of backlog and/or obstruction, I calmly face the challenge and return energy flow and balance.
4) I have a sense of contentment with the degree of comfort I provide my family in their haven-home. I do not experience guilt for their lack of peace.
5) I model a healthy household for my children. Disorder feels strange to them because it is unusual, and they are aware of the specific place their posessions belong.
6) I enjoy each part of the day and develop self-comforting, positive rituals that reaffirm my sense of value in the placement of my priorities, even when my task is mundane.
7) Ultimately, our physical property remains useful and in our service. We are not "owned" by the time it takes to maintain "stuff", but rather, our "stuff" adds value to and enriches our lives and relationships.
Lastly, I divided up how I want to spend my time and tried to assign what percentages of the day seemed appropriate:
Meals- 15 % of day (approx. 2.4 hours)
Household Chores- 25% of day (approx. 4 hours) Note: includes bills, decorating, chores, maintenance, and tending the fire or gardening, respective of season)
Homeschooling/Playing w/ children- 15% of day (approx. 2.4 hours)
Internet, phone calls,reading, and hobbies- 12% of day (approx. 1 hr 55 min)
Planning ahead- 3% of day (approx. 29 min)
Spiritual pursuits- 5% of day (approx. 48 min)
Enjoying Life and Relationships- 15% of day (family time, bedtime routines, intimacy)
Misc. Stuff- 10% of day (approx 1.5 hrs) (dressing, hygiene, and the unexpected)
Well, I've laid the groundwork. I think I'll be getting more hands-on next time!
or⋅gan⋅ize:
1. to form as or into a whole consisting of interdependent or coordinated parts, esp. for united action
Lately I've been studying the "theory" behind the practice of organization. I've come to several interesting conclusions.
Organization begins inside. I haven't formally studied the "laws of manifestation", or the act of materializing one's dreams, goals, or wishes. But, one thing that keeps coming back to me lately is that all of those things begin with an internal intention which unites with the will to create a physical reality. My study of Genesis (a whole other story... I have been in the first two chapters for over a year now, there is just SO MUCH to take in!) illustrates this point very well. God's creative acts all began with forming the intention and speaking things into existence. We are created in His image so it would follow that on a spiritual level (spirit being intellect, will & emotion, not some synonym for "religious"), we "create" or "manifest" things in a similar fashion. Often, I believe, my own trouble begins at the point where the intention and the will unite. Unfortuneately, while I do have a "strong personality", I don't think I necessarily have a "strong will". The study of free will posed by Rudolph Steiner in his book "Intuitive Thinking as A Spiritual Path", discusses this at length and from what I can manage to decipher from his often dense philosophy is that true personal freedom and strength of will are evidenced in being able to accomplish what we set out to do. I realize that I become very bogged down and hindered by my own self-made obstructions and hang-ups. I don't act "freely" very often; I am subject to (read: enslaved by) my moods, emotions, and thoughts- instead of employing them in my own service. This is remedied by realizing that "I" am not my moods, emotions, and thoughts; rather, I am their moderator. If I choose to identify with them, instead of objectively observing them, I hand them control and their position is no longer conducive to my well-being. Many "religions" explain this truth; in Christianity I see it being refered to as "reconciling the old man dead"- who was bound by lusts; and the "new man" alive- who is "renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created Him". Beautiful.
So how to obtain this state of free will? One of our greatest tools for obtaining this is meditation- not in the sense of "clearing your mind of everything", which *can* be helpful if you're trying to destress or quiet yourself- but rather, meditation in the sense of focused thought. I LOVE Steiner's "Ruckshau Meditation", in which you travel backwards through your days or moments and objectively watch yourself as you behaved, without assigning "bad or good" or imputing guilt or righteousness. In this way, unclouded by emotions, I can see what I am doing and often, how I could have circumvented many problems simply by not being so reactive to my thoughts or feelings. I gain clarity and by avoiding the critical thoughts which often accompany our evaluations of how we have behaved, I develop compasssion, which is always a better motivator for me to encourage myself in the direction I wish to take.
So, organization begins inside. We cannot manifest true or lasting physical organization if our own internal terrain is not organized. Thus, my first goal is "to form as or into a whole consisting of interdependent or coordinated parts, esp. for united action", my intellect, emotions, and will. I can definately pinpoint places in my life where my intellect and emotions are at odds instead of ready for "united action", and vice versa. So galvanizing my will and not allowing thoughts or emotions to derail it will be my principle spiritual task as I seek to "get organized".
In setting intentions- marching orders for my will- I am utilizing Regina Leed's book "One Year to an Organized Life". The boys and I had some fun making "dreamboards"- collages of cut out "Cottage Living" magazine pictures glued to a large sheet of paper- depicting what we want our life to look like. I have to admit, Elijah's was very abstract and I must just be way too shallow to comprehend it. =)
Next, I privately journaled about my parent's relationship with organization. This brought up some very interesting realizations.
Then, I listed my goals in the present tense, and here they are:
1) I feel peaceful and calm about what I have accomplished each day. "It is enough". When I look around at "undone" tasks, I am peacefully able to remind myself that each task will be faced in its own time.
2)I do not spend all day on household management items, but I have fun routines with the children that break up the day.
3) I freely move and act without hang-ups or mental-emotional obstacles. When I see areas of backlog and/or obstruction, I calmly face the challenge and return energy flow and balance.
4) I have a sense of contentment with the degree of comfort I provide my family in their haven-home. I do not experience guilt for their lack of peace.
5) I model a healthy household for my children. Disorder feels strange to them because it is unusual, and they are aware of the specific place their posessions belong.
6) I enjoy each part of the day and develop self-comforting, positive rituals that reaffirm my sense of value in the placement of my priorities, even when my task is mundane.
7) Ultimately, our physical property remains useful and in our service. We are not "owned" by the time it takes to maintain "stuff", but rather, our "stuff" adds value to and enriches our lives and relationships.
Lastly, I divided up how I want to spend my time and tried to assign what percentages of the day seemed appropriate:
Meals- 15 % of day (approx. 2.4 hours)
Household Chores- 25% of day (approx. 4 hours) Note: includes bills, decorating, chores, maintenance, and tending the fire or gardening, respective of season)
Homeschooling/Playing w/ children- 15% of day (approx. 2.4 hours)
Internet, phone calls,reading, and hobbies- 12% of day (approx. 1 hr 55 min)
Planning ahead- 3% of day (approx. 29 min)
Spiritual pursuits- 5% of day (approx. 48 min)
Enjoying Life and Relationships- 15% of day (family time, bedtime routines, intimacy)
Misc. Stuff- 10% of day (approx 1.5 hrs) (dressing, hygiene, and the unexpected)
Well, I've laid the groundwork. I think I'll be getting more hands-on next time!
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Introduction & the Metaphysics of Homemaking
This year, I chose 12 New Years Resolutions- 1 for each month:
January- Be Organized
February- Be Romantic
March- Be Frugal
April- Be Healthy
May- Be Festive
June- Be Cheerful
July- Be Creative
August- Be Visionary
September- Be Prepared
October- Be Generous
November- Be Resourceful
December- Be Intuitive
Incidentally, I was recently thinking about starting a blog. A few days later I was talking with Courtney and she asked me… “Have you ever thought of starting a blog?”. So, in the interest of having some moral support and accountability to bringing my resolutions to fruition, here is my blog. May it *at best* inspire, and *at least* keep my friends in touch.
So- January is “Be Organized”. Today was a great start. First of all, I did this:
I really should have taken a “before” picture so you could see the difference. I used to have a million things on my desk. My husband has, since the time we were married, urged me to take everything off and leave it open and clear. Where would I put the printer? What about my iMac? Well, I have a laptop to replace the old iMac (now we just use it to watch movies anyway, since we have no tv) and I set my printer in a nearby bookcase. Words cannot explain the feeling I have when I sit down at my desk now. Amazingly, it translates into a clear mind.
So, my desk is clear. I have a plant (something living and growing), a photo of my husband and I (foundational and grounding in my life), a pencil sharpener (I thought this was symbolic for mental “sharpness”), and a candle and lamp on it. I light the candle every time I sit down to stimulate light and warmth of thought. I might be rushed, harried, chaotic; but when I sit down now to this intentional, thoughtful surrounding, I am reminded of my goals and inspired to achieve them.
The guide introduction offers a good snapshot of my ideals about my role and purpose at this junction of my life. It says,
January- Be Organized
February- Be Romantic
March- Be Frugal
April- Be Healthy
May- Be Festive
June- Be Cheerful
July- Be Creative
August- Be Visionary
September- Be Prepared
October- Be Generous
November- Be Resourceful
December- Be Intuitive
Incidentally, I was recently thinking about starting a blog. A few days later I was talking with Courtney and she asked me… “Have you ever thought of starting a blog?”. So, in the interest of having some moral support and accountability to bringing my resolutions to fruition, here is my blog. May it *at best* inspire, and *at least* keep my friends in touch.
So- January is “Be Organized”. Today was a great start. First of all, I did this:
I really should have taken a “before” picture so you could see the difference. I used to have a million things on my desk. My husband has, since the time we were married, urged me to take everything off and leave it open and clear. Where would I put the printer? What about my iMac? Well, I have a laptop to replace the old iMac (now we just use it to watch movies anyway, since we have no tv) and I set my printer in a nearby bookcase. Words cannot explain the feeling I have when I sit down at my desk now. Amazingly, it translates into a clear mind.
Having recently begun the study of Feng Shui, the layout of the room my desk is in just so happens to be commonly associated with “’Contemplation’ or ‘Inner Knowledge’- new learning, introspection, meditation, and inner guidance”. While I believe that our physical surroundings and lack of “Feng Shui” are not necessarily an impediment to the various aspects of our lives they correspond with, I have found Feng Shui to be incredibly enriching in the same way, as perhaps, going to church is a strengthening experience. It causes me to perform mental maintenance on the intangible areas of my life, simply because I am reminded of them as I enter each room. Being mindful of the fact that this room represents “Contemplation” causes me to evaluate the depth of my recent contemplations. If they are scarce, I think…hmm… how can I stimulate this area of my life? Remember the story of the woman with the “issue of blood” who simply touched the hem of Jesus’ garment and was healed? It was her faith, “activated” by her physical gesture, which brought her healing. Likewise, I might decide to light a candle, hang a prism in the window, or add a plant to this room to stimulate or stir up the dynamic there.
So, my desk is clear. I have a plant (something living and growing), a photo of my husband and I (foundational and grounding in my life), a pencil sharpener (I thought this was symbolic for mental “sharpness”), and a candle and lamp on it. I light the candle every time I sit down to stimulate light and warmth of thought. I might be rushed, harried, chaotic; but when I sit down now to this intentional, thoughtful surrounding, I am reminded of my goals and inspired to achieve them.
On to the kitchen!
While it is my goal to have the dishes done every night, sometimes this doesn’t happen. However, my “baby step” is that AT LEAST all the counters/surfaces are wiped clean, old food tossed, and dishes set to soak in a dishpan ON ONE SIDE of the sink. All the huge things (cutting boards, pots) must be washed. So instead of a crusty counter, dried on scum, and a pile of dishes in both sides of the sink, which gives me a HUGE “sinking” feeling (no pun intended) the second I think of it when I wake up… I have this much more manageable picture:
This symbolizes that I am setting myself up to meet the task with clarity and cheer. To further augment this, I have decided that every time I must leave something undone, I will leave myself an “incentive”. Maybe some days it will be a piece of chocolate on the windowsill. Today, it is this:
A candle and incense waiting to be lit, and my Badger Yoga and Meditation Balm ready for me. I have had the pleasure of having lunch with Badger Bill, owner of the company, and he says that simply the artwork alone on his tins have a healing effect. =)
So, tomorrow morning when I am ready to do the backlog, there will be incentive in the form of gentle reminders of the meaning and purpose in my work, and that it is work to be done with good intentions and the knowledge that dishwashing is, metaphysically speaking, the “spiritual alchemy” of the homemaker. I am also thinking of having a binder tucked under the sink with some print-outs of Grimm’s tales to refer to (it’s been a long time since I read it myself and I need refreshing!). It turns out dish duty is way more appealing to my 3 yr old when he gets to hear about Jack and the Beanstalk as he dries dishes! I don’t even have to ask him to dry… I just pull a chair up to the counter and start telling the story and have an instant volunteer!
Before I sign off for this time, I have to recommend a couple books. “Creating Sacred Space with Feng Shui” by Karen Kingston, and “Clear the Clutter: Make Space for Your Life” by Inge van der Ploeg. And that reminds me! Where would I be without my “Heavenly Home Guide”? I’ve mentioned it to a few of you and purposed to make some as gifts, and have had a couple suggestions to publish it… well, Val down at the gift shop has offered to help me in that pursuit and sell it there. Who knows?
The guide introduction offers a good snapshot of my ideals about my role and purpose at this junction of my life. It says, "The very first way we touch our families with a sense of 'home' is by holding this vision in our own hearts. If we think of our home, speak of our home, and move and work within our home as though it is a vital, warm, and thoughtfully maintained place, we will, without words , convey this message to all who come within. This means we do not complete household duties and chores with an attitude of 'getting it over with' rather, we truly engage ourselves in completing our tasks, embuing them with our goodwill and creativity. Washing dishes is not drudgery, but a form of household alchemy. This is especially necessary for those with small children, who imitate not only our words and actions, but the spirit behind them. They 'drink in' the hardness or softness of our face, the cheerfulness or frustration in our posture, the very attitude we convey. We shape their attitude towards work, even when they are infants observing our 'mundane' chores.
What is a house without warmth? In modern times we often take for granted the concept of warmth. Many need only flick a switch to start a central heating system. Living with a wood stove as a primary source of heat, I have come to realize that warmth, in its natural, spiritual form, takes time and effort. A wood fire produces the ultimate light and heat, a warmth which no electric or gas source can match on a sensory level (a good reason to fill our homes with candlelight, especially at meal times!). A good fire requires time to light and maintain. Likewise, the warmth of a home requires time and maintenance. Just as I return from a long trip to find
my fire dying and embers cooling, when my attentions have been elsewhere, the spiritual and emotional warmth of my home fades. Just as our ancestors were drawn to the hearth as the center of all home activity, on a spiritual level our greatest tasks as homemakers is to create an 'emotional hearth'- a place where our hearts are warmed, our faces brightened with light, and our spiritual nourishment is prepared.How do we provide emotional and spiritual nourishment for our loved ones? While there may be many “right” answers to this question, I have found the basis for meeting my family’s non-physical needs is to serve as a medium in helping them observe and identify with the natural rhythms of life- be it waking and eating; the days of the week and their unique landscapes; spring, summer, autumn and winter; or celebrating holy days, festivals, and simple rites of passage. While mere outward observance of these can become ritualistic and dry, it is exactly at this point when life becomes ritualistic and dry. A skilled homemaker helps enliven and create meaningful traditions which breathe spirit and purpose back into our souls. It has been said that, as young children, the daily routines and ways our days were ordered contribute to the very order and rhythm of our internal organs and processes. For example, when meals and snacks are served to young children consistently (both at a set time and following the same activity), their digestive systems become attuned and their body systems begin to run on an internal “clock”. This in turn affects blood sugar and sense of well-being and emotional balance. I believe, on a larger scale, our bodies are also impacted greatly by our observance of weather, season, and holidays; they bring order to the mind and emotions as they cover the great themes and symbols which life encompasses and which were set in place by our Creator to guide us. The liturgical year, or church calendar, for instance, urges us to seek light when we are surrounded by darkness (Michaelmas) and to kindle hope in the darkest times (Advent). What vital lessons to apply in all aspects of life. Practically, we do this in establishing routines for the day (young children love to mark these tasks with related songs), seasonally decorating our homes, and creating traditions and capturing them (photos, scrapbooks, even a family journal). Eating with the seasons can be a special way to do this; we can save certain meals for their respective seasons and prepare special holiday dishes to be anticipated each year.
Finally, how can we make our homes a place of rest? When we consider that the enemy of a restful state would be chaos, we can see that organization creates a peaceful atmosphere in our home..."
And thus I have come full circle, back to the resolution for this month... "Be Organized".
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